I’m co-facilitating a Rites of Passage class right now. And while I was leading a trance, I stepped into this blog title.
It happened one rite.
Rites of passage happen all the time. And in Reclaiming, the core class about rites of passage focuses on dreams and stories/myths (for me, anyway), but less about: HERE’S HOW TO DO YOUR RITE OF PASSAGE NOW RIGHT NOW. STEP ONE…
Because rites happen all the time. And your rite is different from mine. Should be, even.
Because some rites happen without our input or desire. Without our consent, even.
But change happens when it does, how it does.
With all that said, there are ways to construct your own movement from what was to what is becoming. Even from what was to what is already on its way.
Stepping into the Rites of your Life
Like any magick, like any life, a lot of stepping into what is happening starts with recognizing that it IS happening. When I am overstimulated, when I am under-resourced, I am not going to notice that something big is happening.
I am, however, going to notice that things are off. That I am struggling more than I normally do or that I’m having trouble(s) in relationships. I’ll usually notice that my life doesn’t seem to fit the way it used to. I notice my life is itchy, like a wool sweater or a shirt with a tag that I forgot to cut off.
But if I don’t slow down, I don’t notice that. I just think life is crunchy and challenging.
What if I stopped and slowed long enough to ask: what is changing? What is not working? What could I do about this?
This takes slowing the f down. This takes taking a breath once in a while, the kind of breath that isn’t because you’ve run out of oxygen, but the kind of breath that gives you more energy than you need to exist. The kind of breath that fills you all the way up – and then some. Enough to get your head back into the present moment, and even into what happens next.
Support for Heart and Body
I truly believe that my rites of passage arrive and occur with the most ease when I am taking care of my physical body. I am not going to be perfect, nor am I going to get all of my fruits and vegetables every day, but I am going to think about what I eat, how much I sleep, how much I move, and how much I pray to my godds.
When I have reestablished my foundation, I tend to know what I need to do next. Or the next thing I need to do isn’t even conscious, but rather it seems natural and I am led in a direction that makes sense (eventually). I tend to be able to expand my capacity to hold a bigger change and a wider experience of great shifts in my life.
Name the Rite
Becoming a person with a certain diagnosis is a rite of passage. (And I, like many, have a collection now.) A rite of passage for you looks different and can be named differently. It was a big deal to be diagnosed with ADHD, for example. It is and continues to be a rite of passage — there is a clear delineation from what I thought I knew about myself and what I know now. The past makes more sense. There is a grief for the loss of time that I could have known better what to do and how to hold myself.
That too is a rite of passage. And I name it as such.
I have often joked that when I was in one of my initiation processes, I was sad for it to end because I couldn’t keep ‘blaming’ everything on being in initiation. Bad day? Must be initiation. Car troubles? Darn that initiation.
And having a container was helpful. I did think about how this might inform the process, even if I did sometimes lean toward blame vs. meaning-making.
Name the container and ask yourself if what you are experiencing might inform what is changing. Or how you could change. Or how you have already changed.
It happened many rites and will continue to do so.
What rite can you name and claim now?
(More to come…)