Former Youth Leader Displays True Perseverence By Still Wearing W.W.J.D. Bracelet

DALLAS, TX – A local Family Christian book store employee named Evan Hanson is starting to receive the recognition he deserves for still wearing his tattered and faded W.W.J.D. (What Would Jesus Do) Bracelet. The feat was noticed when a shopper caught a glimpse of the bracelet as Evan raised his left hand to direct her to the Willow Tree display.

“I got it at a youth group lock-in roughly 18 years ago,” said Evan. “I don’t know how many times my, so-called, friends would try and tell me to take it off and that it wasn’t cool anymore. But I wouldn’t listen. I mean, would Jesus take off the bracelet? No way. Jesus persevered to the end.”

W.W.J.D. bracelets became a hit in the 90’s with youth groups as a way to remind them to uphold their Christian morals.

“I’ll never forget the night I got it,” explained Evan. “I won it after dropping  some knowledge bombs all over the rest of the youth group. I don’t mean to sound prideful, but I worked so much harder than the other kids; they never really had a chance; I was amazing. It was after that game everyone started to call me “The Jesus Bomb Shockwave” because I kept dropping my bible knowledge bombs on everyone. It wasn’t long after that I took over; Youth Pastor Todd had to resign. He couldn’t handle this Shockwave, nobody can.”

Sources say that Evan has been working at the Christian Book Store as way to further his education and fund his Christian music project, appropriately called “The Jesus Bomb Shockwave”.

When asked if Evan would ever take of the bracelet, he replied, “I doubt it. But, there might come a day when I want to, I am only human, you know. It’s for those moments of weakness that I wear this ankle bracelet. It says ‘F.R.O.G’, that reminds me to ‘Fully Rely On God’ to do exactly what Jesus would do. Did Jesus quit? No way! Now I want to ask you: What did Jesus do when those lame pharisees came at him talking trash? He WWJD’d and FROG’d, and then He proceeded to drop some knowledge bombs on them! BOOM! I love my bracelet.”

Family Christian Book Store reports show Evan to be dead last in retail sales for the entire district.

Editorial Note: This post, like all of the other posts in the Satire section of our webpage, are fake and exist for no other purpose than to you make you laugh.