WASHINGTON D.C. – After much speculation and anticipation, the Clinton camp has confirmed that she will be watching the 2016 election results from The Dark Castle in Mordor with her family and close friend, The Dark Lord Sauron.
“I can think of no better place to celebrate my empowerment than in the heart of Mordor with my good friend Lord Sauron. He’s supplied me with every ring… I mean EVERYTHING I need to win this election and more” said Mrs. Clinton.
This news has given rise to many theories and conspiracies, as to why she chose this place to watch the election. Some suggest she will use the Eye of Sauron to watch all and make sure all her plans unfold without a hitch.
“She, like Sauron, is just doing her master’s bidding; of course, I am speaking of The Dark Lord Morgoth” said one skeptic who did not wish to be named due to fear of his life. “A darkness is over the land and I fear my end is near”