MEDDLE, FL – The First Baptist Church of Meddle is in shock after it was discovered a member of the church created a fake identity for the sole purpose of avoiding serving in the church nursery.
“I’m ashamed, yes. But I don’t regret what I’ve done. I’ll do it again if I need to” explained the man when questioned by his pastor. “I’ve managed to do this 3 years in a row and not serve in the nursery. I love the church. I love the ministry. But a man has his limits! I would have gotten away it with it, if it was for the meddling kids!”
The man, who is known by most as James Gualan, is also known as Juan Fulda. Both had memberships at The First Baptist Church of Meddle and both served in various ministries within the church. They were well liked and respected members of the community. However, whenever it was either’s turn to serve in the church nursery the one would conveniently be sick or out of town.
Mr. Gualan’s guise was discovered when he was teaching a class to the youth group, as Juan Fulda, and his fake mustache fell off. Everyone was shocked to see that it was James Gualan who had bamboozled them the entire time.
It’s unclear if the man will undergo any church discipline for the matter. However, he has been removed all ministry related activities.
“The amount of effort this man went through to avoid serving in the nursery is incredible” commented the pastor of the church. “I don’t understand it. All he had to do was tell me he didn’t want to serve there and that would have been the end of it…?”