If I Don’t Forgive Others, Am I Not Forgiven?

If I Don’t Forgive Others, Am I Not Forgiven? September 14, 2018

Jesus said if we don’t forgive others, we won’t be forgiven, but does this mean we’ll lose our salvation?


The Bible teaches that “since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ” (Rom 5:1). This means there is “now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” (Rom 8:1). After we are brought to repentance and faith, our standing before God changes. That’s only because it was “For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God” (2 Cor 5:21). The condemnation is lifted, being justified by faith, and now we have the same righteousness imputed toward us that Jesus has. Of course, we’ll still sin (1 John 1:8, 10) but we’ll also come for a daily cleansing (1 John 1:9), so when Jesus was teaching His disciples how to pray, He conclude by saying that “if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses” (Matt 6:14-15). Does this mean if we fail to forgive someone, we will not be entering the kingdom? Is the context of this chapter about losing our salvation? Is it really possible to not forgive someone and be lost forever? Some think that this is what these verses say, but let’s take a closer look…first of all at forgiveness.

Rejecting Forgiveness

God says in His Word that after a time, God will give people up to their own sins. They reach a point where they’ll never want to hear about God again. The Apostle Paul wrote that “although they knew God, they did not honor him as God or give thanks to him, but they became futile in their thinking, and their foolish hearts were darkened” (Rom 1:21), so “God gave them up in the lusts of their hearts to impurity, to the dishonoring of their bodies among themselves, because they exchanged the truth about God for a lie and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever! Amen” (Rom 1:24-25). After continually rejecting Him, “God gave them up to dishonorable passions” (Rom 1:26a). Three times it says “God gave them up,” meaning they want nothing to do with God, so God lets them have their way. It doesn’t mean God gives up on sinners, but after continually rejecting the truth, some are deceived “by the activity of Satan with all power and false signs and wonders, and with all wicked deception for those who are perishing, because they refused to love the truth and so be saved” (2 Thess 2:9-10). This is why “God sends them a strong delusion, so that they may believe what is false, in order that all may be condemned who did not believe the truth but had pleasure in unrighteousness” (2 Thess 2:11-12). Remember, they are not forced by God to disbelieve. They themselves “refused to love the truth and so be saved.” God never forces Himself on anyone. Whoever may come, may come to Christ and be saved (John 3:16).

The Lord’s Prayer

What is commonly called the Lord’s Prayer was not meant to be repeated over and over again, although since it is Scripture, some do, but the disciples had asked Jesus to teach them how to pray (Luke 11:1), so Jesus gives them a template for how they ought to pray. That’s important because context is critical in reading text. Jesus’ statement in Matthew 6:14-15 is related to Jesus teaching them how to pray, so the context is not about salvation but about praying to God. It’s about prayer and forgiveness, not losing or receiving salvation. Jesus said if we have something against our brother or sister, we should first go to him or her, and then come back to the altar, saying that “if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift” (Matt 5:23-24).

Context is King

To take a text out of context risks making a pretext, and a false one at that, so when believe that if we don’t forgive others, God will not forgive us, and therefore we stand condemned, we are not reading it within the context in which it was given. First of all, He is speaking to His disciples. He is telling them how to pray. He is talking about coming before the Father for a daily cleansing of sin (Matt 6:12). To keep ourselves in fellowship with God, we must keep short accounts with God. It doesn’t change the relationship when we don’t ask for forgiveness, but it does hurt our fellowship with Him. When my son broke the house rules, I forgave him, and even though he was disobedient, he remained my son. Our fellowship was hurt, but our father-son relationship was unchanged. Even if I offended my son and he never forgave me, he would still always be my son and I would always be his father.


I find it difficult to believe that if we don’t forgive someone, we’re destined for the lake of fire. These verses (Matt 6:14-15) don’t suggest that God will withdraw His justification from us. God will chasten His own children; those whom He loves (Heb 12:5-7), and this discipline includes those who refuse to forgive or harbor grudges against others, but these verses do not null or void John 6:37 and 39, John 10:28-29, John 11:25-26, John 3:16 and Romans 8. If we believe that forgiving sins will ensure our salvation, then we believe that works are needed (forgiving) in order to keep our salvation. We know that works will never save us (Eph 2:8-9), so to believe that if we fail to forgive someone, we are lost forever, is to do an injustice to the Scriptures. Jesus may have been saying that a person that is unforgiving may not be saved in the first place. That seems entirely possible, but if someone claims to be saved but hates their brother, they’re deceiving themselves (1 John 2:9-11), and are likely not saved at all.

Article by Jack Wellman

Jack Wellman is Pastor of the Mulvane Brethren Church in Mulvane Kansas. Jack is a writer at Christian Quotes and also the Senior Writer at What Christians Want To Know whose mission is to equip, encourage, and energize Christians and to address questions about the believer’s daily walk with God and the Bible. You can follow Jack on Google Plus or check out his book Teaching Children the Gospel available on Amazon.

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  • pud

    The endless and repetitive gibberish continues…

    1. “jesus” never “said” anything….get this through your thick head. There was no stenographer following him around writing down verbatim what he supposedly “said” even when he WAS ENTIRELY ALONE! It reads like a STORY because it is a STORY! There is NO evidence any such person EVER existed at all!

    2. “since we have been justified by faith”…Bullshit. “Faith” is NOT a pathway to truth. “Faith” is gullibility. “Faith” is belief without evidence. All “faith” claims have equal irrational weight…you can “believe” any and everything without evidence no matter how absurd or ridiculous…invisible beings, demons, devils, alien abductions, Bigfoot…are ALL the same and none are supported by facts.

    3. “Salvation” makes your make believe, invisible, undetectable “god” a petty tinkerer. A sadistic busy body and celestial dictator demanding both fear and love…the very essence of totalitarianism. It is so stupid to buy into this ridiculous concept as it makes your “creator” of universes an agent with will and desire and unfulfilled wants and needs which is incompatible with omniscience and omnipotence…buy hey, what do you need critical thinking skill for anyway huh?

    4. “I find it difficult to believe that if we don’t forgive someone, we’re destined for the lake of fire.” LOL!!! There is nothing too ridiculous, impossible, irrational, stupid, contradictory etc for you to “believe” You jack will “believe” anything it seems. You’ve sacrificed all your critical thinking skills and your entire wretched life is spent in fear of offending this creature under your bed. You are ill…you need to seek professional help.

    Demonstrate the existence of this mythical “lake of fire” jack….waiting….waiting…coward.

    • Wow…feel better?

      • pud

        Always do! Did you learn anything? Of course not!

        • Eileen

          I do not know you, Pud, but never in my life have I encountered anyone so bitter and hate-filled. It saddens my heart for you. I have been praying for you for a long time and will continue to do so. Yeshua (Jesus) loves you, Pud, and it’s not too late for you to know this personally and turn to Him. I’m praying that one day, you will.

          • pud

            Well your personality perception skills are as lacking as your reality perception skill. I am neither hateful or bitter…I have a great life! I simply have contempt for your cult that makes its living lying to children. You can stare at the ceiling and bark at the moon all you like…will get you exactly nothing. You do not “know” anything…you are a pitifully indoctrinated lunatic in a religious cult that cares to believe what you want to believe and nothing for the actual truth of anything…I pity you. Truly I do.

          • Glory

            Yes, many are praying for him but for now ignore him. He is determined to sow evil ideas that come from the evil world onto everybody and nobody should have to entertain so much evil in their hearts. Look what it did to him. Obviously he sought from all the most evil counsel and sources of this world and now refuses to fight his way out of evil but instead has chosen to work for it.

            pud may not even be able to reason any more from all the evil he so willingly entertains so yes he desperately needs divine intervention.

            Really who thinks he can deconvert a Christian using his tactics? He’s no longer sane or he would have realized a long time ago that he was sabotaging himself by the way he acts. I could never relate to someone so rage filled and vindictive in a way that influenced my beliefs or actions.

          • DDRLSGC

            You got any proof that he is evil? I guess that makes comedians George Carlin, Bill Burr, and Jim Jefferies evil people because they don’t believe in God.

          • Glory

            His posting record showing he remorselessly insults people different from himself is the proof.

            So his own words convict him and show him to be evil.

            I probably never would have called him evil but he regularly calls believers insane and that could be him projecting his own evil insanity onto others the way Hitler projected his onto the Jews.

            Why should his hatred be allowed to over run this blog?

            I visited Seidensticker’s blog once and was banned after a few weeks of trying to correct their aberrant views. They wanted to force an argument and ejected me for not lowering myself to striving with them competitively.

            If you can deliver the truth why involve yourself in a philosophical hornet’s nest? Been there and done that so now I simply opt for the powerful, life changing truth. No navigating slippery slopes, no fighting straw men, etc.

            The pure unvarnished truth is enough.

            Unless you are up against a seriously hardened sinner like so many militant atheists like Josef Stalin or Yaroslavsky proved to be. They held murder in their hearts towards Christians and their Christian body count proves that, too.

          • DDRLSGC

            I see no such thing in his post. He is using logic and reasoning. Running over this blog? Yeah sure.

            Yeah and look at how many militant Christians sinners there are like Trump, Bush, Jr., Reagan, Cheney, Atwater, Rove, etc. and the body count against both Christians and people of other religious faith.that continues today and will exceed that of Stalin.

          • Glory

            Go ahead be fooled by their claims to be Christians. God looks on the heart and has their record of wrongs and will say to many that He never knew them.

            People are fooled by appearances. God is not.

            Go and look at pud’s posting record over the years. He has insulted many including the pastor repeatedly. And on a Christian blog that counts as persecution.

            You and pud have no business to be here unless you came to learn. If you didn’t come here to learn then you came to undermine the gospel. Pure and simple and I’m not playing any word games with you any more.

            Get your heart right with God or leave.

          • DDRLSGC

            He has has humiliated the people with his reasoning and logic and why hasn’t he been banned from the blog then?

            Doesn’t change the fact that the Christians like Trump left a body count just as much as Stalin did.

          • Ulf Turkewitsch

            Who’s asking

          • Glory

            I am. This is a teaching blog. The pastor doesn’t debate anybody.

            Plus there is no moderation.

            Without moderation debates become verbal punching matches like pud’s posting history shows.

            I have lost track of the number of times he has insulted the pastor and others. It is too high to count.

            How do you hold a conversation with another person practicing Sam Harris’ conversational intolerance?

            The answer is you can’t.

            Conversational intolerance is a form of verbal coercion. An attempt at bullying someone into believing the same way you do or thinking like you do or else.

            I am not thinking like an atheist nor am I willing to be coerced. I am a child of God and try to follow His ways howeve imperfectly I may do that.

            Who is an atheist to judge me or any other Christian on our walk when we are still trying to get upright?

            Nobody is more judgmental and intolerant than a militant atheist. Their thinking resembles that of xenophobes.

            Have a blessed day!

          • Glory

            Ulf are you a Christian, agnostic or atheist? I think you may be trying to understand. So if you learn nothing else from a Christian learn this: you are loved by God. You are a part of John 3:16.

            If over the course of your life you failed to guard your heart then it can become subject to worldly influences that callous it and make it lose it’s childlike innocence and that is not beautiful. It is awful.

            Only you know who you have been prioritizing ahead of God.

            We are all subject to evil influences in this world so we have to learn to guard our hearts and tune in to God. Preachers are really just people that help us learn to do that to grow into spiritual maturity. They are God’s instruments for conveying godly ideas but not God Himself.

            Anyways, atheism is merely a rallying label for the people who failed to acknowledge God and protect their own hearts.

            Not everyone has an equal chance to protect or knows to guard his heart and if you don’t you need God to purify your heart through His Word until you come to a point where you can receive Jesus and be spiritually regenerated in and through Him.

            All the endless arguing does is keeps the people with the most hardened hearts oblivious to their own heart condition.

            Just remember you have always been and will always be loved by Jesus Christ. Only you can call uncle and give up on that love but why should you? It is an everlasting love that will never fail you.

          • Glory

            It is all about God’s love. Faith and hope will pass away but only love remains cf. 1 Cor. 13.

            So get the best spiritual education you can. Right now the dissenters are trying to upset your education in this comments section.

            But Christians are only celebrating God and His love for us. What’s wrong with that? Also why wouldn’t God protect human genetics by encouraging the best virtues and behaviors in us?
            With freedom comes the duty to exercise it responsibly.

            Look at the Christians celebrating here:

            Worthy Is The Lamb!

            Hallelujah! Praise God!

          • Glory

            Here is my post from the “Save Us From the Deniers of Hell” thread which I noticed you were interested in:

            I barely skimmed the article but the writer has never researched the universalist position. He logicized from pre-set assumptions.
            Hell is a word never found in the ancient text of the Bible.
            The word “aion” has been mistranslated as “eternity” in the Bible.
            The wages of sin is death not hell in the Bible.
            Many people and sites are cropping up today correcting the erroneous eternal torment doctrine with better more biblical doctrine more in alignment with God’s nature.
            How anyone trusts the Catholic Church on this when too many carnal people were popes and had their hands in this I can’t understand. Google “Wicked Popes” by Henry Halley and read that short 2 page catalog of papal misdeeds.
            Watch Chris Pinto YouTube videos on popes manufacturing false scripture.
            Read mercifultruth.com, Auburn.edu, the evangelical universalist forum, the Tentmaker site et al. These sites go into the ancient background explaining how the corrupt hell doctrine attached itself to Christianity and is over due for a doctrinal correction. Martin Luther overlooked it because the deception was subtle and great.
            Read “Aion-Aionios” by John Wesley Hanson.
            Universalism is an ancient doctrine. Ernest L Martin thinks Simon Magus entered the Roman Church masquerading as the apostle Peter and bonded Christianity to Babylonianism. He discusses this in his article on it on The Associates for Scriptural Knowledge site.
            Be Berean and research the ancient language and history and think about God’s nature and then decide who to believe on the hell question for yourself.
            Is God really obligated to respect evil people’s free will when they could be mentally incompetent or considered minors by Him?
            Read Creation’s Jubilee by Stephen E. Jones or his essay “If God Could Save Everyone, Would He?”
            Hope all this helps any Berean who likes to use his own God given mind so as not to be misled by other people’s false philosophical assumptions. Word meaning at the time of usage is not debatable but assumptions are and false philosophy crept into Church theology through Augustine and others a long time ago.
            Isn’t it quite enough God saves us from death and gives us a whole new life? – end quote

            See this is why study and research is superior to debate. You get to establish for yourself what God’s position really is instead of mindlessly repeating others mistakes.

            Of course, your own evil heart might affect the way you interpret things. See Luke 6:45.

            That is why I try to study along with the most holy real missionary type people who have the most God given discernment, patience and perseverance.

            Inspect the source of the ideas being communicated to you. This is your heart we are talking about. If you won’t care to guard it then who will?
            Not the world which likes to spew random evil and upset people’s personal and spiritual identities and their destinies.

            Study to be an approved man of God. Even a serious atheist ought to see that study is superior to random conversations or books written by people of unknown character.

            Jesus’ miracles were his credentials showing he was from God and attesting to his holy character.

            Once someone shows his character and credentials to the world he doesn’t have to show them again.

          • Ulf Turkewitsch

            Please unsubscribe me.

          • Glory

            Block you? Sure.

            So you are a confirmed atheist.

          • DDRLSGC

            I have every right to be and there is a person named Valerie Tarico who know how to tear the gospels apart very well and I learn a lot from her writings.

            I don’t have to leave this website, period. Don’t like it, file a complaint.

            Since when is insulting Christians on a blog is persecution?

            “Go ahead be fooled by their claims to be Christians.”

            Which people are you talking about who claim that they are Christians?

  • Glory

    Let’s praise God in spite of all the haters that like to lurk this comments section.

    Thank You, the Katinas

    • pud

      Landslides in the Philippines buried dozens, including people sheltering in a church

      Let’s praise god! LOL….

    • You need to breathe more. Take a deep breath. Breathe in deeply and exhale. This will help to calm you down.

    • Jack Wellman

      Yes, praise HIm and all glory to Him.

  • tovlogos

    Amen, a complete thought, Jack, tight and well covered. No doubt, you have been a blessing — subjects fitting the profile of some of your
    expositions such as — “Is There a Point of No Return” — show up because It is easy to see light in the midst of darkness; nothing strange about that…but a blessing.


  • pud

    Landslides in the Philippines buried dozens, including people sheltering in a church

    Imagine that! Dozens in their church praying feverishly for the invisible undetectable celestial dictator to save them….oops! Too busy or too indifferent jack?

  • Ellen EJ Lefavour

    While we are certainly justified through the grace of God by faith in the redeeming sacrifice of Jesus on the cross and by no works of our own, there are many stony ground hearers or backslidden Christians who believe they are saved because of some words they once prayed, after which they returned back to their old ways, like the dog to his vomit or the pig to the wallow. Justification is one thing, sanctification another. If one who professes to be Christian refuses to forgive another, are they truly saved, spirit filled and cooperating with the Holy Spirit that He might do His work within as the Spirit of Holiness and truth? We are told repeatedly in the Book of Revelation, that those who overcome will receive the blessings and enter in. Of our own power, we can overcome nothing, but if we are not overcomers through Him that dwells within, we should ask ourselves if we are truly born again, spirit filled, surrendered and following our Lord that we might “be conformed to the image of His Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brethren”. Being “not hurt by the second death” clearly indicates that they will be part of the first resurrection at the coming of our Lord (1 Thess. 4:16-17), not the second resurrection of the wicked, who will suffer the second death in the lake of fire. As a teacher, particularly when it comes to someone’s eternal salvation or destruction, it seems much more prudent to air on the side of what the scriptures actually say, rather making it all sound nice and politically correct for people. Personally, I would much rather have God say on that day “you really didn’t need to forgive those people, because I would have forgiven you anyway”, than to hear “depart from me you worker of iniquity”. And in life, I’ve experienced the freedom and joy of living without carrying that dreadful unChristlike burden of unforgiveness.
    Revelation 2:7 “To him who overcomes I will give to eat from the tree of life, which is in the midst of the Paradise of God.”’
    11 “He who overcomes shall not be hurt by the second death.”’
    17 “To him who overcomes I will give some of the hidden manna to eat. And I will give him a white stone, and on the stone a new name written which no one knows except him who receives it.”’
    26 And he who overcomes, and keeps My works until the end, to him I will give power over the nations
    Revelation 3:5 He who overcomes shall be clothed in white garments, and I will not blot out his name from the Book of Life; but I will confess his name before My Father and before His angels.
    12 He who overcomes, I will make him a pillar in the temple of My God, and he shall go out no more. I will write on him the name of My God and the name of the city of My God, the New Jerusalem, which comes down out of heaven from My God. And I will write on him My new name.
    21 To him who overcomes I will grant to sit with Me on My throne, as I also overcame and sat down with My Father on His throne.
    Revelation 21:7 He who overcomes shall inherit all things, and I will be his God and he shall be My son.

    • Take a deep breath. Just breathe.

      • Ellen EJ Lefavour

        Pray and study your Bible, just pray and study your Bible. Ask for the Holy Spirit’s leading. Jesus assures us the Father will give the Holy Spirit to any who ask.

        • You do know that the Greek word for breath is pneuma (= wind, breath, spirit). The Hebrew word for breath is ruarch ( = wind, breath, spirit). Just breathe. You’ll feel a lot better if you do so. Of course, breathing doesn’t establish any truth content of what one is reading, but it does have a calming effect on the mind.

    • Ulf Turkewitsch

      One cannot be saved one day and be condemned to hell on the next. If God did the work in you, and you are saved it is perfect because God is ABSOLUTELY PERFECT. You can’t have it both ways. It is a church that makes those rules of conduct, to keep control of their people. Not God.

      • Glory

        The timing of repentance is the gift of God so yes we can have it both ways.

        Try bothering to learn doctrine which is God’s perspective before criticizing things you never bothered to learn.

        Also research the universalist positions on hell. Another thing most people neglect to do.

        And don’t argue with me. I no longer give the ignorant credence by listening to their biblically unresearched opinions.

        God is the only one who knows all so if you did not master His perspective then you are ignorant and unfit to opine.

        Christianity is based on teaching because teachers bother to know a subject better than others and that subject is God.

        You don’t have a relationship with God but Christians do so we know Him better.

        So stop wielding your ignorance so authoritatively.

        How are you a Christian’s equal on spiritual topics when you refused to love and acknowledge God?

        God gives Himself to those that love Him.

        You are in the dark and need to repent PERIOD.

        Have a blessed day and may God grant you the humility to come to know Him and to stop learning from ignorant haters!

        • Ulf Turkewitsch

          Sorry! Apparently you have me all wrong. Firstly. It would be to your advantage to speak respectfully to people who post their opinions here, if you wish to be considered seriously at all. You are quite arrogant, judgemental and dismissive.
          I have given a very short thumbnail statement of my ideas, not a full analysis.

          • Glory

            No, I am not. I am the most truthful one.

            You were caught in an error.

            Repentance is the gift of God and given in His timing.

            I am sick and tired of watching atheists draw conclusions about real Christians from nominal ones as if we didn’t have a spiritual learning curve to go through.

            Atheists aren’t so smart. They almost always consult the wrong people about God then are determined to pass out that misinformation like it is candy.

          • Glory

            Go read mercifultruth.com on the hell question and come back if you want more sites and info to check like a genuine truth seeker.

            God rewards seekers.

            I believe eternal torment to be a false pagan myth the Catholic Church allowed to attach to true doctrine.

            But the people in the know are in a minority at this time.

            May His grace abound to you!

          • Glory

            Oh and this is a teaching blog under attack by atheist zealots determined to undermine God’s most basic teachings like God is love.

            They don’t want you to know the real God as explained by His family.

            They want a false equality with God’s family as experts on Him.

            But we Christians are the adopted children of God.

            So why would worldlings outside God’s family and determined to stay that way understand Him?

            They gave into worldly influences before a connection could be established.

          • Glory

            Watch out for all the false teachers and the inexpert, etc. See John 3.

            Jesus died so you could be born again aka born from above but the haters don’t want you to know that he gives everyone a spiritual right to be born again.

            They don’t care about your future they only care about themselves and what they think.

            You have no way to ascertain character of some people on here so be a seeker to protect yourself and don’t trust the arguments. Some are loaded with hard to see misassumptions that please others not us.

            That may be one reason God gave us the Bible. To set the record straight free of all of philosophy’s false assumptions and errors.

            Hope this helps!

          • Ulf Turkewitsch

            Yes there are many mis assumptions that lead people astray, I hope that I will not be one of them. Thank you kindly for your thoughtful reply.

          • Glory

            You’re welcome. Sorry for seeming disrespectful in the first post. But be careful of religious discussions online. You really don’t know the character of some of the people trying to influence you and no way to check it like in person.

            Have a blessed day!

          • You have described Glory, correctly. She is arrogant, judgemental and dismissive.

    • Glory

      It may be that many Christians are still nominal because while they acknowledge Jesus they may have neglected repenting or making an absolute surrender to God.

      Read Andrew Murray’s essay “Absolute Surrender” on ccel. It is free and not too long.

      The founder of Methodism John Wesley explained that the timing of repentance is a mystery as it is a gift from God. Sometimes repentance precedes baptism and sometimes it follows later though most people assume it precedes it.

      Look at the groups that baptize infants. How did an infant have a chance to repent or understand the need for repentance?

      As Christians we probably should be praying that the whole world receives the gift of repentance.

      Have a blessed day!

  • Ellen EJ Lefavour

    I don’t know your heart and am not judging, but it seems like you may have someone in your life you really do not want to forgive, since you keep writing about this and making forgiveness not be a necessary thing, when it clearly is. How many times should I forgive my brother? 7 times, nay 7×70 times.

    • Breathe! Just Breathe! Take a deep breath and breathe.

      • Ellen EJ Lefavour

        Pray and read your Bible, just pray and read your Bible.

        • Deep breathing will help calm you down. It’s good for your mental health as well. Just breathe!

  • Guestie

    It is clear to me that there is a heirarchy if wants and needs. God wants people to forgive others. God wants people to believe in him. God wants people to do good works. Sometimes there are conflicts amongst these wants and, thanks to free will, God can’t have everything he wants. So he has to prioritize and pick and choose. When push comes to shove, God wants belief and adoration more than he wants people to forgive others. God, being a god, gets what he wants. Every manager knows that you get more of what you reward and less of what you don’t reward. And that’s why people tend not to be forgiving: God doesn’t want it badly enough.


    I am not in a forgiving mood to forgive others; however, I should forgive myself for letting people push me around.

    • Glory

      Yes, forgiveness is the mark of an overcomer. But you can still protect yourself from toxic people. Read “God Will Make A Way” by Christian counselors Cloud and Townsend.

      Another key short essay to read is Absolute Surrender by Andrew Murray over on the ccel.org site.

      • DDRLSGC

        God will make a way? Yeah sure, tell that the the people of sexual abuse by the religious authorities.

        • Glory

          Are you an unbeliever?

          • DDRLSGC

            Yes and there are a lot of us out there?

          • Glory

            Well you should not be on this blog unless you came to learn the truth about God.

            Stop trying to force God into non-existence by the evil ideas some stranger transferred to you and learn about God personally.

            Arguing against God just proves you shut and hold closed your heart against God but everyone needs Him and need trumps desire.

            Your hardened carnal soul may not desire Him at this time but you need your hardened heart to be restored so you can experience spiritual birth and regeneration. See John 3.

            You are loved by God and it is time for you to stop living a life denying it.

            Have a blessed day!

          • DDRLSGC

            Wrong, this blog is for atheists as well when you look at the different beliefs in the belief column and if you don’t like it too bad, and you need to complain this about to the owners of the website.

            How am I am arguing against God? I am not arguing with him right now face to face. Why don’t he come down right now and argue with me so buzz off.

          • Glory

            Well you are on block now for showing your rebellion towards God and incivity towards Christians.

            The pastor is kinder than most so he tolerates pud like Paul in the Book of Acts did the jailer that he converted.

            He risks public humiliation to help God save pud’s soul but it may be that pud will only understand tough love not tender love like the pastor shows him.

            pud is a cyber bully and should have been reported to the FBI a long time ago. Do you want to make his accomplice list?

          • DDRLSGC

            How am I an accomplice?

            Incivility towards Christians? It is the Christians who have been uncivilized to other groups in this country for the last 38 years considering all the tax breaks they get plus the money they get from the federal government.

            Rebelling against God? Yeah and people in Europe have been dropping out of church for the last several years; however, they have better job re-training programs, free/affordable medicine/education systems, better public transportation system, better sick and vacation time, etc. and you don’t see their society collapsing because they are dropping out of church. Many kids in America are dropping out of church because they don’t see religion and God not helping them with putting a roof over their heads, food in their bellies, clothes on their backs and having good paying jobs.

            You have not answer my question about arguing with God and how am I rebelling against God? George Carlin is not impress with God’s work and no can blame him.

  • Elephile

    I suppose if you could somehow find a way to stop being part of the universe, by which I mean stop ever having been part of the universe (or multiverse, if there is one), then you might “lose” “salvation”.

    Because then – and ONLY then – would you not be part of the ALL when God (Love) becomes ALL in ALL.

  • Glory

    Here are 83 verses for people who want to learn to focus their thinking on God’s principles and develop more spiritual minds.

    Don’t listen to the world or haters. They can’t give you a godly spiritual mind or walk.
    Only God can do that.

    So here are a few of His Words to meditate on and store like hidden treasures of wisdom in your heart.

    The world can’t give you God because it doesn’t know Him.

    To know God you have to sit at His feet in the scriptures and let Him feed you His words of wisdom which promote love, joy and peace.

    The world doesn’t have that to give. Turn on a tv. It is all violence and profanity.
    How can you get your heart right with that?

    So meditate on God’s verses about how to focus our minds and God bless to everyone reading.

    Take your mind back from the world for God where all the real love, joy and peace abide.

    Philippians 4:8 ESV / 115 helpful votes

    Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.

    Romans 12:2 ESV / 67 helpful votes

    Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.

    Romans 8:5-6 ESV / 61 helpful votes

    For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit. For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace.

    Colossians 3:2 ESV / 50 helpful votes

    Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth.

    1 Corinthians 3:18 ESV / 39 helpful votes

    Let no one deceive himself. If anyone among you thinks that he is wise in this age, let him become a fool that he may become wise.

    Proverbs 15:28 ESV / 37 helpful votes

    The heart of the righteous ponders how to answer, but the mouth of the wicked pours out evil things.

    2 Timothy 2:7 ESV / 34 helpful votes

    Think over what I say, for the Lord will give you understanding in everything.

    2 Corinthians 10:5 ESV / 30 helpful votes

    We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ,

    Jeremiah 29:11 ESV / 28 helpful votes

    For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.

    Proverbs 4:23 ESV / 22 helpful votes

    Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life.

    Psalm 104:34 ESV / 16 helpful votes

    May my meditation be pleasing to him, for I rejoice in the Lord.

    Psalm 119:15 ESV / 15 helpful votes

    I will meditate on your precepts and fix my eyes on your ways.

    Proverbs 23:7 ESV / 14 helpful votes

    For he is like one who is inwardly calculating. “Eat and drink!” he says to you, but his heart is not with you.

    Philippians 4:6 ESV / 13 helpful votes

    Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.

    Matthew 15:11 ESV / 13 helpful votes

    It is not what goes into the mouth that defiles a person, but what comes out of the mouth; this defiles a person.”

    Ecclesiastes 10:20 ESV / 13 helpful votes

    Even in your thoughts, do not curse the king, nor in your bedroom curse the rich, for a bird of the air will carry your voice, or some winged creature tell the matter.

    Proverbs 18:21 ESV / 12 helpful votes

    Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.

    Proverbs 17:22 ESV / 12 helpful votes

    A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.

    Hebrews 13:5 ESV / 11 helpful votes

    Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”

    Isaiah 55:8-9 ESV / 11 helpful votes

    For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.

    Proverbs 29:20 ESV / 11 helpful votes

    Do you see a man who is hasty in his words? There is more hope for a fool than for him.

    Philippians 4:6-7 ESV / 10 helpful votes

    Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

    Matthew 11:28 ESV / 10 helpful votes

    Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

    Matthew 12:33-37 ESV / 9 helpful votes

    “Either make the tree good and its fruit good, or make the tree bad and its fruit bad, for the tree is known by its fruit. You brood of vipers! How can you speak good, when you are evil? For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. The good person out of his good treasure brings forth good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure brings forth evil. I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak, for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.”

    1 Peter 5:8 ESV / 8 helpful votes

    Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.

    Philippians 4:13 ESV / 8 helpful votes

    I can do all things through him who strengthens me.

    Ephesians 4:31-32 ESV / 8 helpful votes

    Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

    Matthew 5:28 ESV / 8 helpful votes

    But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

    James 1:26 ESV / 7 helpful votes

    If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person’s religion is worthless.

    James 1:19 ESV / 7 helpful votes

    Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger;

    Matthew 21:22 ESV / 7 helpful votes

    And whatever you ask in prayer, you will receive, if you have faith.”

    Proverbs 21:23 ESV / 7 helpful votes

    Whoever keeps his mouth and his tongue keeps himself out of trouble.

    1 John 1:9 ESV / 6 helpful votes

    If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

    2 Timothy 4:7 ESV / 6 helpful votes

    I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.

    2 Timothy 1:7 ESV / 6 helpful votes

    For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.

    Philippians 4:7 ESV / 6 helpful votes

    And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

    1 Corinthians 2:16 ESV / 6 helpful votes

    “For who has understood the mind of the Lord so as to instruct him?” But we have the mind of Christ.

    Acts 18:28 ESV / 6 helpful votes

    For he powerfully refuted the Jews in public, showing by the Scriptures that the Christ was Jesus.

    Acts 17:11 ESV / 6 helpful votes

    Now these Jews were more noble than those in Thessalonica; they received the word with all eagerness, examining the Scriptures daily to see if these things were so.

    John 14:27 ESV / 6 helpful votes

    Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.

    Matthew 5:22 ESV / 6 helpful votes

    But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment; whoever insults his brother will be liable to the council; and whoever says, ‘You fool!’ will be liable to the hell of fire.

    Isaiah 1:18 ESV / 6 helpful votes

    “Come now, let us reason together, says the Lord: though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red like crimson, they shall become like wool.

    Proverbs 17:27-28 ESV / 6 helpful votes

    Whoever restrains his words has knowledge, and he who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding. Even a fool who keeps silent is considered wise; when he closes his lips, he is deemed intelligent.

    Proverbs 15:26 ESV / 6 helpful votes

    The thoughts of the wicked are an abomination to the Lord, but gracious words are pure.

    Proverbs 15:18 ESV / 6 helpful votes

    A hot-tempered man stirs up strife, but he who is slow to anger quiets contention.

    Proverbs 15:1 ESV / 6 helpful votes

    A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

    Proverbs 14:15 ESV / 6 helpful votes

    The simple believes everything, but the prudent gives thought to his steps.

    Proverbs 12:25 ESV / 6 helpful votes

    Anxiety in a man’s heart weighs him down, but a good word makes him glad.

    1 John 4:4 ESV / 5 helpful votes

    Little children, you are from God and have overcome them, for he who is in you is greater than he who is in the world.

    1 Peter 1:13 ESV / 5 helpful votes

    Therefore, preparing your minds for action, and being sober-minded, set your hope fully on the grace that will be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ.

    Romans 8:38-39 ESV / 5 helpful votes

    For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

    John 10:28-29 ESV / 5 helpful votes

    I give them eternal life, and they will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all, and no one is able to snatch them out of the Father’s hand.

    Ecclesiastes 7:9 ESV / 5 helpful votes

    Be not quick in your spirit to become angry, for anger lodges in the bosom of fools.

    Proverbs 19:11 ESV / 5 helpful votes

    Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense.

    Proverbs 18:20 ESV / 5 helpful votes

    From the fruit of a man’s mouth his stomach is satisfied; he is satisfied by the yield of his lips.

    Proverbs 17:14 ESV / 5 helpful votes

    The beginning of strife is like letting out water, so quit before the quarrel breaks out.

    Proverbs 14:29 ESV / 5 helpful votes

    Whoever is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who has a hasty temper exalts folly.

    Proverbs 10:19 ESV / 5 helpful votes

    When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent.

    Job 31:1 ESV / 5 helpful votes

    “I have made a covenant with my eyes; how then could I gaze at a virgin?

    Nehemiah 8:10 ESV / 5 helpful votes

    Then he said to them, “Go your way. Eat the fat and drink sweet wine and send portions to anyone who has nothing ready, for this day is holy to our Lord. And do not be grieved, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.”

    1 Chronicles 16:11 ESV / 5 helpful votes

    Seek the Lord and his strength; seek his presence continually!

    James 4:5 ESV / 4 helpful votes

    Or do you suppose it is to no purpose that the Scripture says, “He yearns jealously over the spirit that he has made to dwell in us”?

    Colossians 3:1-2 ESV / 4 helpful votes

    If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth.

    Ephesians 4:23 ESV / 4 helpful votes

    And to be renewed in the spirit of your minds,

    1 Corinthians 3:8 ESV / 4 helpful votes

    He who plants and he who waters are one, and each will receive his wages according to his labor.

    Romans 12:16 ESV / 4 helpful votes

    Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight.

    Romans 12:15 ESV / 4 helpful votes

    Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.

    Romans 8:6 ESV / 4 helpful votes

    For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace.

    Proverbs 29:11 ESV / 4 helpful votes

    A fool gives full vent to his spirit, but a wise man quietly holds it back.

    Proverbs 18:13 ESV / 4 helpful votes

    If one gives an answer before he hears, it is his folly and shame.

    Proverbs 18:2 ESV / 4 helpful votes

    A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion.

    Revelation 1:1 ESV / 3 helpful votes

    The revelation of Jesus Christ, which God gave him to show to his servants the things that must soon take place. He made it known by sending his angel to his servant John,

    1 John 4:1 ESV / 3 helpful votes

    Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, for many false prophets have gone out into the world.

    Ephesians 5:17 ESV / 3 helpful votes

    Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is.

    Proverbs 3:5 ESV / 3 helpful votes

    Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.

    James 1:2 ESV / 2 helpful votes

    Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds,

    Hebrews 4:12 ESV / 2 helpful votes

    For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart.

    2 Timothy 2:15 ESV / 2 helpful votes

    Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who has no need to be ashamed, rightly handling the word of truth.

    Philippians 2:5 ESV / 2 helpful votes

    Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus,

    Ephesians 4:29 ESV / 2 helpful votes

    Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.

    Mark 7:21-22 ESV / 2 helpful votes

    For from within, out of the heart of man, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, coveting, wickedness, deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride, foolishness.

    Proverbs 28:26 ESV / 2 helpful votes

    Whoever trusts in his own mind is a fool, but he who walks in wisdom will be delivered.

    Proverbs 19:2 ESV / 2 helpful votes

    Desire without knowledge is not good, and whoever makes haste with his feet misses his way.

    Verses above copied from biblehub.

  • Randy Thompson

    As important as the Romans passage is, it increasingly strikes me that it is the wrong starting point. Jesus calls us to follow him, to be his disciples (or “apprentices,” as Dallas Willard puts it. Jesus’ call is the starting point, and, if we are to take up our crosses and follow him, that entails praying “Father forgive them.” And, when Jesus was asked by his disciples to teach them to pray (in Luke 11), he says, “say. . . “, giving us a very specific prayer to pray (and which is also a template). That prayer entails asking God to forgive us as we forgive. In other words, if we’re to pray in Jesus’ name, then we certainly better be praying as people with a very deep and clear sense of being forgiven ourselves, and which we are to do as a significant part of .loving our neighbor. Is forgiveness easy? No, it is not. Sometimes, forgiving someone can be a long, difficult and even painful process. Yet, that’s life in the Kingdom of God. To take love seriously is to take forgiveness with equal seriousness.