Taking a departure from heinous church signs today to delve into the disturbingly rich landscape of badass Jesus iconography. Like them, or Jesus will personally rip you in half.
See, it only looks like a fair contest until Jesus pulls that “Over the Top” move Stallone does and then…BAM.Looks like Jesus has been hitting the Seven Minute Abs videos. And I’m pretty sure if I was one of the centurions at the crucifixion, this is the point at which I’d wet my armor.
Not to nit-pick, but shouldn’t this say “Abba?” Love the cross stabbing straight through the heart, though, Jesus. Nicely played.The only thing Chuck Norris is afraid of is this Jesus in super-pointy sunglasses. And spiders. And vegetables that start with “R.” It’s a childhood thing.Don’t worry; he totally only uses this to pick off squirrels in the trees from the front porch. And to blow the face off of people who don’t follow him.Again, I’m probably splitting hairs here, but does the Savior of the World seriously need armor? As for what’s wrong with the picture, the only thing I can see is that maybe it’s TOO AWESOME!!! Now, where’s Brando hiding? I love the smell of communion in the morning…smells like victory. OK I’ll stop now.
Christian Piatt
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