10 modern myths about marriage

7. If I’m not SEXUALLY fulfilled in my marriage, as long as I don’t have an affair, I should be able to do anything I want to get my needs met.

Two thousand years ago, Jesus taught that, “to look at a woman lustfully is to commit adultery with her in your heart.” Modern couples have adopted the destructive habit of “outsourcing” the sexual fulfillment in their marriage to outside sources like pornography, romance novels, vibrators, etc. In an attempt to enhance their own sexual gratification, they’re actually sabotaging the sexual intimacy of their marriage. When you replace your spouse with another person (virtually or physically), then you’re pursuing pleasure at the expense of your marriage. All your sexual energies, fantasies and desires should be focused on your spouse. Monogamy should be both physical and mental. It might sound impossible, but it’s not. We explain why and how in our video course on sex and intimacy in marriage.

8. Every couple is UNIQUE, so there’s not a single “right way” to have a good marriage.

This one is partially true, but it’s often the “almost true” things that prove to be more deceptive than obvious lies. Every couple is unique and there’s no cookie-cutter approach to marriage, BUT there are some timeless and universally-applicable principles that provide a compass to keep a marriage on course. To disregard these principles and write our own rules for love and marriage will lead to disaster. I outline the timeless principles that should be present in EVERY healthy marriage in my book The Seven Laws of Love: Essential Principles for Building Stronger Relationships.