4 things you should NEVER say to your spouse.

4 things you should NEVER say to your spouse. November 7, 2013

Have you ever said something to your spouse and then immediately thought to yourself…”Ummmm…I didn’t actually say that out loud just then did I?!” I think we’ve all been there and sometimes we can say the most hurtful things to the people we love the most.

Whoever said “Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words will never hurt me,” didn’t know what they were talking about! The truth is that our words can make or break our relationships and we need to commit to using our words wisely. You can communicate your message without being mean or sarcastic and if you approach your spouse in a supportive and encouraging way, your message is going to be received much better.

For the health of your marriage, you need to remove some words and phrases from your vocabulary. Here are some practical ways to get started…

DON’T SAY: “Have you gained weight?”

If they’re gaining weight, they already know it without you pointing it out. Instead of drawing attention to the weight, try suggestion healthier options for meals or going on walks together to promote ways you can spend time together and both get healthier at the same time. Be their biggest cheerleader; not their biggest critic! For more on this, check out our Free video series on “The 4 Pillars of a Strong Marriage.”

DON’T SAY: “You Always…” or “You Never…”

When we’re trying to make a point, we often make hurtful allegations about our spouse that exaggerate the truth. “Always” and “Never” can be dangerous words. If you do say the words “You always…” or “You never…”, make sure you say something positive, like “You always know how to make me smile.” Instead of something negative like “You always make everything so complicated” or “You never do anything to help me.”  For more on this, listen to this  Free audio clip from my iVow: Secrets to a Stronger Marriage audiobook.

DON’T SAY: Anything mean, degrading or disrespectful.

Okay, I know I just listed a whole bunch of things with this one, but the important point is that you need to always keep a positive tone in your words if you want to maintain a positive tone in your marriage. Once you say a word, you can’t take it back, so be very careful about each word you speak to each other. A marriage can’t have too much encouragement or too little criticism. For more on this, check out my post on 4 simple ways to improve communication in your marriage.

DON’T SAY: “Divorce”

The “D-Word” shouldn’t be part of your vocabulary. Don’t use it as a threat or as an option. There’s no intimacy in marriage without complete commitment and there can be no true commitment if you have even the threat of an exit strategy. Remember, a “perfect marriage” is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other!

For more tips and tools to build a stronger marriage, please download our new “MarriageApp” in iTunes and check out my new book “The Seven Laws of Love: Essential Principles for Building Stronger Relationships”

#7lawsoflove Seven Laws of Love quote Dave Willis husband wife two wings same bird

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