Answers to your 7 biggest questions about sex

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4. I’m having a difficult time reaching orgasm. What should I do?

4. I’m having a difficult time reaching orgasm. What should I do?

The statistics we shared from “The Marriage Bed” showed that women typically require more time and more stimulation to reach an orgasm. This means the husband needs to slow down, give more attention to foreplay and/or other stimulation and make it a priority for both spouses to climax.

5. I feel like we’re not connecting inside or outside the bedroom, and I’m not sure why. Any suggestions?

There can be many factors (physical, hormonal, emotional, etc) that leads to a lack of “connection” in the bedroom (you can read the Top Ten causes of sexual frustration in marriage by clicking here). One of the most dangerous causes is secrecy. Anything you don’t communicate to your spouse (or your spouse doesn’t communicate to you) creates an invisible barrier inhibiting intimacy in your marriage.

6. Past hurts are causing hangups in the bedroom. Any suggestions?

Most people enter into marriage with some level of regret over past sexual choices or perhaps even wounds from past sexual abuse. There are also hangups that can be caused by broken trust within the marriage and a difficult time reestablishing trust and intimacy. These are complex issues, but the first step is to commit to healing. If you’ve been wounded, take time to heal. You may need to pursue professional counseling. If there have been wounds in your marriage, forgive each other and work together to reestablish trust. Get to the root of the issue and then tenaciously work together to resolve it.

7. How often should we be having sex?

The preferred statistical average is a couple times per week, but this is really an issue to work out in your marriage. I’d suggest talking about it and leaning towards the preference of whichever spouse desires it more often. It takes a lot more than sex to build a strong marriage, but it’s nearly impossible to build a strong marriage without it!

For more tips and tools to enhance your marriage you can connect with me on Facebook and check out my bestselling book, “iVow: Secrets to a Stronger Marriage” which is now also available on iTunes as an ebook download on iPhones, iPads and all Apple devices (by clicking here).

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