As an advocate for stronger marriages, I’m always working to keep tabs on the global trends related to marriage. This past week, I read a disturbing article about China’s “Mistress Dispellers” and did some additional research to learn that this concept isn’t just big business in China, but it actually points to some alarming stats about marriage and infidelity worldwide. To give you some context, let me first briefly explain what a “mistress dispeller” actually is.
It sounds like casting a spell on somebody, but it’s nothing like that. In China’s wealthier cities, there’s an epidemic of businessmen and political leaders having younger mistresses. It’s almost seen as a status symbol to have a beautiful young woman on your arm even if you’re a married man (in China, and sadly, in many other parts of the world as well).
The housewives of China are combatting their husbands’ infidelity in a very peculiar way. They’re hiring “mistress dispellers” to befriend the mistress, gain her trust, learn about her goals and motivations and then use that information to get the mistress out of the husband’s life by getting the mistress a new job or a new lover. The mistress move on with her life and discretely disappears without ever knowing she’s been “dispelled” and the husband never knows why he’s been dumped by his mistress.
I told you it was weird. The strangest part of the whole equation isn’t that these scorned wives are paying as much as $60,000 to make the mistress vanish from the husband’s life. No, the strangest part is that the system is set up so that the wife and the husband never actually talk about the infidelity. It just “disappears” and everything is supposed to go back to normal. In fact, if the “mistress dispeller” does the job correctly, the husband will never even know why the mistress left OR that his wife ever even knew about the mistress.
This big business of “mistress dispellers” is deeply concerns me for a number of reasons. First of all, it’s heartbreaking to see a global trend towards infidelity or a broken value system that seeks a mistress over a wife or a fling over a healthy marriage.
Second, it’s deeply disturbing, because no marriage will ever improve if the husband and wife don’t talk honestly about the real issues. If YOUR MARRIAGE needs some real help, please start by clicking here. If you just try to make the “issue” disappear without addressing the root causes, another issue (or mistress) will soon be in the picture.
If you are in a struggling marriage, please don’t lose hope (or call a “mistress dispeller”)! For real solutions and support to help your marriage, check out our new program, “Fighting for my Marriage” by clicking here.
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