Ten questions to ask before getting a divorce or separation

Almost everyday, I talk to someone whose marriage is in crisis. They often feel desperate, exhausted and alone. It’s a heartbreaking scenario when the dreams of “Happily Ever After” are crushed, and in the midst of all the pain and confusion, it is nearly impossible to think clearly about what next steps to take. We created our program at FightingForMyMarriage.com specifically to help these couples in crisis find hope through practical support and solutions.

What do you do when you find yourself in a marriage that feels hopeless? People who choose to get divorced have often endured years of frustration and exhaustion, but the problem is, we tend to make our worst decisions when we’re exhausted and frustrated. These questions below can help you approach these major life decisions with more clarity.

Here are the 10 questions to ask BEFORE getting a divorce or separation (in no particular order)…

1. What stories do I want to be able to tell about my life someday?

When you’re in the midst of a struggle, the natural instinct is to want to escape and make the pain stop. In marriage, when you’re struggling, don’t make the mistake of making a permanent decision (divorce) to solve temporary struggles. Every struggle will become a story someday. The decision to divorce or stay married is a legacy-impacting decision with a multi-generational impact. There are certainly times when divorce is warranted, but it should be pursued only after every other possible option is exhausted. You get to decide whether your struggles becomes a story about why you walked away or why you fought to make it work.

#2 reveals one of the biggest misconceptions our society has developed about “love”…