My friends thought it was harmless. But I had been warned by my mother. “Ouija boards are evil. Don’t play with them.”
I heard my mother’s warnings in the back of my head, but I was curious. I was at that age when one has more fascination with (than fear of) the unexplainable. Yes, even preacher’s daughters were tempted by things like this. Even “good girls” were vulnerable to the temptation. So, my friend pulled out her game and plunked it in the middle of her bedroom floor. Five of us sat around the board and went where angels fear to tread.
It told us things. It said there would be a fire in a nearby town. I don’t think that ever happened.
It also said it hated me. Hated. Me.
That was it. I was done. No more fascination with the dark side.
If I were to get to the heart of my motivation for doing something so stupid, I would have to say that it was a desire to experience something otherworldly. Signs and wonders. Things one cannot explain. I’ve always believed in a world beyond, in God, and I wanted – no, I demanded – to have proof.
My motivation reflected the root of all evil. The core problem of human frailty? The desire to be God.
To control things.
To spin things.
To manipulate things.
To direct things.
To manage things.
To change things.
To rule things.
Effecting changes in who gets promoted. Who gets crushed. Who gets praised. Who gets honored. Who gets to be born. Who must die. Who is believed. Who is slandered. Who is raised up and who is demonized.
We all want to fashion a world after our own heart. The problem is, we need a new heart. Create in me a new heart, Oh Lord. And renew a right spirit within me.
It’s time to retire from the god-role, children as well as adults. Leave the apple on the tree. The only way to walk in divine life is to stop trying to be God.
Let go and let God . . . be God.
Lord, I want to be like You. Holy as You are holy. Humble and meek, like you. Willing to wait on You and let things unfold as You have willed them.
Not grabbing at fruit that will make me a god.
Forgive me, Lord, for I have sinned against You, whom I should love above all things.