Being A Broken Parent

Christians have a saying that as humans, we are “broken” people. We are “fallen” creatures. We perpetually “miss the mark [of perfections].” We “sin.” Our hope is not in our perfected skills, polished performances, or natural abilities, but in our loving Redeemer. Just because we have faith and intimacy with a good, loving, all knowing God does not mean that we are Him.

Mothers, fathers, and other caregivers are no different.

Though we are in a position of authority over our children, we struggle with our humanity. All of us have this thing called human nature, or the “flesh”, and God nature. Born again Christians call this God nature inside us the “Holy Spirit.” We have free will to choose whether or not to submit to the Spirit and “die” to fleshly nature. Just like the children, many grownups struggle with pride and don’t want to submit to a higher authority. Although adults have more years of knowledge, refined skills, and mature values, we still err. We struggle with our inner temperaments and outward personality. We struggle with our learning curves.

The Bible lists the flaws that can inflict human beings. Among them are lust, gluttony, anger outbursts, selfishness, greed, sexual immorality, idolatry, etc. Even as an educated psychotherapist, Christian, and mother of three, I struggle with one or two of these on this list. It is humbling, if not humiliating, to acknowledge this. Kids are like a blank slate, a reflective mirror. Raising kids is a humbling journey of learning more about myself, seeing my humanity in all of its ugly nature and redeemed value reflected back to me.

That’s why Christians say: More of Him, less of me. In my weakness, He is strong. Let the redeemed of the Lord say so. God is great and I am not! One of my favorites is: A cord of three strands is not easily broken. Guess what that means?

What about you? What particular brokenness do you struggle with? If not faith, then what helps you to heal, do better, and hope with your kids?

Being a Broken Parent