Overcoming Compassion Fatigue

Well, it’s been almost 4 weeks since Hurricane Harvey struck Texas, 2 weeks since Irma visited Florida, followed by lots of bad news around the world about deaths and destruction caused by flooding, earthquakes, and terrorist acts/war in other countries.

For my fellow Americans, our news outlets are stressing us out with story after story of ongoing political tensions and protests, whether the issue is about immigration, ethnicity/race, or religious freedom.

Then if you are a parent, you’ve no doubt had to deal with children’s needs in the form of meltdowns by young children or anger/depression by older ones. And if you are a fellow therapist, there’s always a need to watch for “burn out.”

Compassion fatigue is a term for the condition of being physically or emotionally exhausted due to feeling compassion for fellow human beings. Mental health counselors, social workers, first responders, and others in the helping profession tend to struggle with this.

When tragedy strikes, like a 9/11 or earthquake or flood, people’s initial reaction is usually that of compassion for the victims. We care about our neighbors and fellow Americans. The interconnectedness of this global world through immigration, travel, and social media also allows us to also care for our fellow human beings who suffer around around the world.

The initial pang of sympathy and empathy is often followed by high energy motivation to get involved and make a difference. Whether we are motivated by survivor’s guilt or genuine empathy, people are often quick to help out initially. We want to show that we are quality human beings who care. We want to reach out and touch someone in the shared bond of brotherhood and sisterhood. We want to go out and save someone’s life, donate our precious goods, or just encourage someone who has lost so much. It’s the right thing to do and the blessed thing to do.

However, two weeks after Hurricane Harvey made national and international headlines, the out of town journalists left, the videocameras stopped rolling, and the local flood survivors returned back to work. Things started to settle down. And as is typical for post crisis sitations, the initial surge of warm feelings and altruistic thoughts and behaviors give way to pessimism, cynicism, and exhaustion as the needs prolong but the responsibilies have not lessened.

I, along with other residents who were not directly affected by this tragic event, also resumed work and daily routines. However, it was impossible to ignore the humungous, incredible pile of destruction left on the sides of the roads. After a couple of days and weeks, both our energy and rainy day funds seem to be spent. We are physically tired from helping, emotionally drained from empathizing, and financially broke from giving so much.

We don’t want to hear of any more tragedies. We just want to turn off the news or watch something upbeat for once. We want a feel good story to take us away from all the grief and loss. We just want to escape to a different reality–one filled with no suffering, no responsibilities, only joy, love, and peace. On a beautiful remote island, preferably.

That is compassion fatigue. It’s when we’ve had enough of connecting with another’s suffering. We are through with all the selfless helping. Everyone seems to have a need, including our spouse and kids, not just the clients or the victims of natural disasters. We get tired and drained. We want to get back to normal life, whatever that means we don’t even know anymore. We are just done feeling. Spent. Finished.

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Anyone who has experienced compassion fatigue can take comfort–it’s the ultimate sign that we are human. We are not God, or superheroes. We feel and think and care deeply. But a tender heart can easily break. We must guard our fragile hearts from hardening. As Proverbs 4:23 advises, “watch over your heart with all diligence, for from it flows the springs of life.”

Compassion fatigue is our body’s natural way to instinctively protect itself. It is okay to turn off the sights and sounds, turn away from the stressors, and breathe. Focus on one day at a time, one step at a time, and one person at a time, starting with taking care of ourselves first. Let’s practice self care, like what the helping professionals have to do in order to avoid burn out. It is not selfish, but rather natural, realistic, and quite progressive.

We can use humor to protect our tender hearts. Everyone can relate to good ol’ self deprecating humor. It is not only good for the body, but great for the soul as well. It helps us to connect to each other, bring down the walls of demographic divisions, so that we are one family, one human race. We do our best, and sometimes we don’t do our best. But as humans, we all struggle in one way or another.

Houstonians posted some funny memes on social media as a way to cope. Enjoy these:

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For more laughs, check out this amazing compilation of Harvey humor
.