A Love/Hate Letter to my Body

Oh body, oh body, oh body,

Man, have we had a rough 5-6 years or what?  Two babies, breastfeeding, a marathon, enormous weight gain, etc.  I haven’t loved you much at all for this stretch.  I haven’t appreciated you much at all. I have acted as if your a nuisance since the moment I realized I couldn’t control you.

And the bad talk! I talk behind your back like it ain’t nobody’s business! First, there’s the obnoxiously long big toes, I LOVE to hate you for that. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if you didn’t have to wear a size 10 shoe. I mean, c’mon, body. For crying out loud, what kind of body are you? You are only 5 6″!

I’ve also hated you intensely for your color, rather lack of it. You are so pale, so light, so yellow. Yes, yes, I know you are biracial, I know you bear the color of both your African-American heritage and your Italian-American heritage but this is ridiculous, can’t you look like one or the other? Couldn’t you brown it up a bit? As your spokesperson, I get really annoyed —and super tired— trying to explain “what” and “who” you are. All. The. Time.

On to the hair. I’ve complained. I’ve pissed and moaned about all the hair coming out of the top of your head… it’s too thick, too long, too hard to manage, too expensive, too this and too that.

Recently, I’ve been down on you about the ginormo-boobs, the big belly, the extra weight. I’m sorry, I know it’s not your fault, it’s mine.

Yes, we have big feet, big hair, big boobs…but the truth is, I haven’t taken care of you well. Not just the bad-mouthing-you-to-anyone-who-will-listen part, but letting you go in ways that were just plain unfair. Who can blame you for picking up a spare tire when I was picking up a Double Cheeseburger & a Venti Carmel Latte every where I went?

But, body, you MUST level with me on this —we’ve been quite the team for these past 8 months, eh? Together, we’ve went from 187 pounds to 157. That’s not too shabby at all, eh? I have appreciated you so much more as I’ve tried to lighten your load…

…the way you work hard for me. The way you keep my heart pumping while everything is in working order though I have no control over it.

You’ve picked up some muscle, babes! You have been faithful while I’ve tried to get my act together in treating you better. You even let me drop a cup size. How sweet are you? Honestly, I couldn’t have wanted anything kinder from you!

Body, let’s get real, mkay?

I’m not EVER going to be wild about my big feet and those redonkulous big toes. I’m never going to throw a party in honor of my hard-to-manage hair. I may one day come to appreciate my skin in ways I haven’t yet, but I will tell you this: in all the ways that matter, I will keep trying to work hard to keep you as healthy as I can.

As long as we both know, we are never going to be perfect.  But we are always going to be beautiful on the inside & occasionally on the outside too.  Let’s shoot for the inside though!

Mostly, I just want you to know, I’m so thankful for your housing me…

Because I know if it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t have a life to celebrate at all.  You gave me two beautiful and healthy children so as far I’m concerned, I’m forever indebted to you.

If we stick together,  I think we’re going to be a-o-k.

Yours,

g

This post is part of an inspired SheLoves Magazine synchroblog, where women are writing love letters to their bodies.  A lot of insightful goodness going on!