“THAT’S A LOT OF MAN YOU’RE CARRYING IN THOSE BOOTS, STRANGER” (John Carradine to Sterling Hayden, “Johnny Guitar”): So what brings you to this fair website? Is it any of these search requests, perchance? (You can find tons of hilarious, though sometimes very VERY off-color, search requests here.)

“jonah goldberg annoying arrogant”

“haiku marriage” Keep your pants zipped up/Unless you can face shotgun/With a diamond ring. How’s that? Or, It’s a sacrament/Not an excuse for your fam/To eat lots of cake.

“jokes about nagging” You are always joking about nagging and it makes me so mad!

“picture on winnie the phoon”

“alien peace through superior firepower” What if I prefer Earthling peace through superior firepower?

“interracial asian white love spells”

“nickel and dimed unnatural” I’m no huge Barbara Ehrenreich fan, but this seems a bit harsh…

“prudential claims and ethics” None of that here!

“robin hood of disney porn” Uh, he wasn’t a fox in that sense…

“closeted homosexual republicans” This website has no comment.

“juicer restaurant product homemade carrot juice” Well, if this one is from Bugs Bunny, perhaps he should meet up with Robin Hood of Disney and become a closeted Republican…

“free gay picks free sides” They’re free you know!

“elvis priestly marriage”

“joycelyn elders genius” You’ve gotta be kidding me.

“ark of hopelessness”

“odin goth anderson” Arthur Andersen changes its name to something more homey, trustworthy, and all-American…

“what is the symbol for tentmaker” I think it’s a little picture of a person making a tent.

“how to outwit a libra”

“flaming eyeball clip art“