DEEP THOUGHTS: Ratty sent me a vast list of ’em. She pointed out that most of them were metaphors for her life, for my life, or for same-sex marriage. (Sometimes, of course, I worry that my life is just one big metaphor for same-sex marriage.) Here are some samples; judge for yourself.

My life: Sometimes the beauty of the world is so overwhelming, I just want to throw back my head and gargle. Just gargle and gargle, and I don’t care who hears me, because I am beautiful.

What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singing and the wind rustling through the leaves, that makes you want to get drunk? And after you’re real drunk, maybe go down to the public park and stagger around and ask people for money, and then lie down and go to sleep.

The first thing was, I learned to forgive myself. Then I told myself, “Go ahead and do whatever you want, it’s okay by me.”

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