THE RETURN OF THE EVIL SHAKESPEARE OVERLORD LIST!!!!

446. I will not make Richard III dance the cancan while saying “Now is the winter of our discontent.”
495. I will never have The Ghost of Hamlet’s Father appear out of a Pepsi One machine.
504. If I am ever casting Macbeth, even if there are no male actors available whose abilities are commensurate with the title role, I will not have Lady Macbeth carry around a sock puppet.
509. While there may be a legitimate artistic vision that includes costuming the Exiled Duke and his men as hippies, and another that includes the Usurping Duke and his court in Star Trek costumes, I will not combine these two conceits, particularly if they also accompany a Forest of Arden made of silver balls hanging from the ceiling.
520. I will never make the audience watch John of Gaunt being sponged off.
532. No role in the Shakespearean canon is best played as an Elvis impersonator.

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