ALWAYS COMING HOME: The tally, Independence Day 2011:

Drunken renditions of the national anthem on the roof of our building: two. Plus another song I genuinely couldn’t even understand, but the people singing it seemed very patriotic!
Number of people assigned to bring knives for the watermelon: two.
Number of watermelon-capable weapons achieved by our party: zero.
Number of heart-shaped fireworks: even one is too many.
Wine on my keyboard: not mine.
Books lent: …I think, seven?
Books borrowed: one.
Things spilled on a book by Raymond Carver: salsa; rain.
United States policy choices denounced, current: only three in the conversations I heard; probable future: at least two; alternate-historical, one.

Happy Fourth of July, y’all.