WHERE I LIVE, IT’S ALWAYS HALLOWEEN: Actual things said while watching “Halloween” this past Friday:

Me, on the idiot psychologist’s plan to tell no one about the killer’s return to his hometown, because Only The Authorities Can Be Trusted To Protect Us!!!: “This is very pre-September 11.”

Me: “When knitting needles are outlawed, only Michael Myers will have knitting needles.”

Shamed: “Not making sure Michael Myers is really dead–the fatal conceit!”

Shamed: “No!! Don’t leave him there!!! Finish him off!!! [frustrated]–It’s like U.S. policy with Saddam Hussein!”

Shamed: “See, it is an anti-gun-control movie!”