From “Infinite Jest”

Exec. Director [of Ennet House Drug and Alcohol Recovery House (sic)] Pat M. is due in at 0900 and has application interviews with three people, 2F and 1M, who better be showing up soon, and Gately will answer the door when they don’t know enough to just come in and will say Welcome and get them a cup of coffee if he judges them able to hold it. He’ll get them aside and tip them off to be sure to pet Pat M.’s dogs during the interview. They’ll be sprawled all over the front office, sides heaving, writhing and biting at themselves. He’ll tell them it’s a proved fact that if Pat’s dogs like you, you’re in. Pat M. has directed Gately to tell appliers this, and then if the appliers do actually pet the dogs–two hideous white golden retrievers with suppurating scabs and skin afflictions, plus one has Grand Mal epilepsy–it’ll betray a level of desperate willingness that Pat says is just about all she goes by, deciding.

…a much darker and funnier riff on the deus ex machina “I want to be better” moment from God Help the Girl, among other things