Some Thoughts on Bobby Cutts

In a rare moment of journalistic integrity, Hannity and Colmes interviewed Nikki Giavasis, the ex-girlfriend of Bobby Cutts, and discovered what the courageous efforts of the feminist movement has fought so hard to expose to the world.

I would personally like to thank Giavasis for her courage, I know how difficult this interview must have been. I think it is important to expand on some of her statements to clarify the challenges that face survivors world-wide.

COLMES: Could you shed some light on his behavior with you? What was your relationship like? And was he abusive? And, if so, in what way?

GIAVASIS: He terrorized me for almost 11 years.

COLMES: How so?

GIAVASIS: Verbally abusive, showing up unannounced, breaking my door in, pinning me down, putting me in a neck brace, abusing my daughter, just terrorized me.

• This is what Giavasis described as a result of a four month relationship. Abusers are generally possesive, and desire control. There is often a pattern of spying, and constantly checking in with their partner, to see who they are talking too. Many times they frequently check cell phones. This is so as to make sure their partner is not cheating on them. This is often times excused because "they only care so much because they love me"     Giavasis continues.

COLMES: And you decided to end the relationship. Was it because of this kind of behavior?

GIAVASIS: Yes, he was very jealous and possessive and controlling. And he was also a womanizer back then. I found out he was cheating on me with a girl that was in high school.

• People often wonder why abusers can continue so long without anyone doing anything. The truth is that abusers are masters of manipulation. Their greatest weapons are fear and ridicule. People have a tendancy to ignore even the most obviouse instances of abuse, because they are afraid to admit that it is true, and fear that saying anything will make them somehow an invader of a persons privacy. To this Fox news investigates the friends of Cutts.

COLMES: Laura Ingle, you're on the scene there. Are you picking up similar kinds of stories about a certain pattern of behavior about this man, who some of the people you're seeing day to day have dealt with and know?

LAURA INGLE, FOX NEWS CORRESPONDENT: We're hearing a couple — we're getting really more of a mixed picture about him, because the family members and the people that knew him that stood up for him while Jessie Davis was missing have sort of changed their tune a little bit. Some people that stood up for him are now saying, "I'm not really sure what to think anymore with this new evidence and the discovery and the arrest."

One of our producers went over and knocked on the door of his current wife. They are estranged and separated right now. But she said through the door that she is not doing well. She sounded like she was a bit shaky and said that she doesn't know what to think anymore, either. So some telling words from her, as well.

• When exploring the process of abuse the topic continued towards the verbal aspects.

HANNITY: You mentioned to me as you were coming on the air here, for all his womanizing, he was not a nice person. He was like rude and mean and insulting. And, you know, the things — so what was some of the things he would say and do to you?

GIAVASIS: Well, he always put me down for all of my aspirations, you know, anything I wanted to do personally, telling me that I wasn't the most attractive person he'd ever dated, basically trying to break down my self- esteem.

• Tom Lygkus 101… Continuing…

HANNITY: Yes, it just seems like a pattern here. You've got to wonder, have the court system — is this one of these instances where, you know, we had opportunities to catch somebody early on, the signs of abuse, you know, escalating, we miss it again, is that what we're going to find at the end of this? What do you think, Crystal?

BOULTINGHOUSE: (Giavasis's attorney) That's a very good question. I think there certainly were — he was very good manipulator. And so he did fool a lot of people, a lot of people that were involved in her custody case were siding with him. And so that just goes to show what a good persona these people can put on.

• I think I've already mentioned that abusers are masters of manipulation. I think the point needs to be drilled in until people stop protecting abusers and criminalizing survivors.

HANNITY: When you heard this news on Saturday that he was a suspect from early on, this did not surprise you at all. You felt he was capable of this type of brutal murder?

GIAVASIS: Yes, and that's why I felt I had to speak up, because of what he'd done to me. And I felt most people didn't know that dark side of him.

HANNITY: Yes, and it was really dark. I mean, capable of murder, to say that about somebody is a pretty incredible charge.

• After this Giavasis was asked if she had any regrets. She started crying.

 I need to break from the interview here. One of the biggest issues that survivors deal with is guilt and shame. if there is anything a survivor needs to say to themselves it is this.

• It's not your fault, there was nothing you could do.

  I know, it's easier to say than to believe. I think, in this respect, many people outside the community, and also within need to understand a basic concept.

• Everyone is entitled to their feelings. When dealing with survivors of abuse it is never a contest to see who has suffered the most. This only serves to diminish ones own worth as a human being.

 In conclusion, I would like to ask those "conservative" talk show hosts to remember those tears the next time they wish to radicalize the feminist and the liberal positions. We are human beings, we are flesh and blood, and when pricked we bleed. For me its been over twenty years since my abuse, and yet still not a day goes by that I don't see those steel cold grey eyes. This is the price that has been payed by hundreds of thousands to bring an end to gender violence, and other forms of violence directed at minority groups.

Kozzmo