I have longed for people I thought I would die without. And wanted books and music I was sure would bring me peace. And I’ve driven myself to accomplish things I thought would secure my worth. And though I seldom touched what I longed for or got what I wanted or achieved what I pushed for, the remnants of my longing burned like ancient wood on the fire of my soul, making the heart of my being burn brighter. To... Read more

Over the years, I talked so much that, like a car speeding down a dirt road, I couldn’t see anything but what I stirred up with all my talk.   Thankfully, loss broke my axle and forced me to stop. When the dust settled, I could see.   Then love picked me up and took me to the nearest town, where I started a school for seekers who talk too much.   In time, we taught each other to listen... Read more

In late November, I had an odd sensation in the night of not being able to breathe properly or easily, especially when lying flat. Upon going to urgent care, I was told that I had a small amount of fluid on my left lung. This led a three month fall into a dark hole of worry, as the common causes of fluid on the lung are serious: congestive heart failure, a pulmonary embolism, or the appearance of lymphoma, just to... Read more

I’ve lived long enough to know that every sigh opens a story, the way a mouthful of water inflates a dry sponge to the form it had when found in the deep.   My grandmother, for example, lives in the mezuzah she brought from Russia, though I can hardly see her face. And I feel her son, my father, in the awl and chisel I have, all weathered from his hands.   And to say your mother was kind holds... Read more

I was raised like our backyard, only tended with a sigh when I began to grow wild.   You ask if there were good times. You’ve asked before. I’m sixty and have spent most of my life dealing with their absence, many years of un- locking what I never had. So I know how to face what went wrong. I even know what made them so frightened and angry, children of the Depression, unsure if they wanted kids, saddled with... Read more

I wonder where you are tonight. Each of you. You who I lived with for twenty years. You who I grew up with. You who I almost loved.   Are you searching for a sweater as the sun goes down? Are you running from the law? Or from yourself as we did so long ago?   I feel you dancing with each other in the basement of my heart. When I call, you hush each other till I’m drawn into... Read more

Often, the delicate grows within the harsh, the way the milky sweetness grows inside a coconut. Yet all of it is wasted, if the sweetness never comes out. Many of us hide the sweetness or save it for an emergency. But long before the wars erupt, before the prejudice hardens, before the fear makes us recoil from each other, we have this choice. To let the sweetness out.   A Question to Walk With: Describe a something delicate within you... Read more

When on the go, there are more places to go. When stopped, I’m surprised that everything that matters is where I am. Still I go and stop, fall down and get up, love and get hurt. Though I see all for a second and nothing for a long time, I believe in all. Though I wanted everything quickly, I now want everything to slow. Now I wonder about the majesties that no one ever sees: the glitter of quartz in... Read more

All the meditative traditions encourage us to be still and to drop our thoughts and feelings, so we can breathe our way below all trouble into the flow of life-force that carries us. This is wise counsel. It gives us perspective and sometimes peace. But being a poet, I enter that Universal space and just take notes. I lean into the stillness with an open heart and listen to everything, including my thoughts and feelings and the entanglements of life.... Read more