Discordian Jubilees: Afflux (Like a Solstice, ‘Cept Different)

Discordian Jubilees: Afflux (Like a Solstice, ‘Cept Different) December 8, 2021

December 8 is Afflux, the 50th day of the Season of Aftermath, and the closest thing Discordians have to a Winter Solstice jamboree. Afflux marks the close of the calendar year — it’s a time to reflect on the relationship between destruction and creation, to examine the things that have come undone around us, and to figure out what we can do with the pieces.

And, according to most of the online sources I found, it’s an opportunity to get, like, irrevocably blitzed.

A traditional, handmade Afflux ornament. (Image via Pixabay.)

Alas, as I person in recovery, I will not be engaging in that last festivity. Although I did have a drinking dream last night, which I assume counts.

Drinking dreams are exactly what they sound like, and they’re not uncommon among recovering alcoholics, although they can be unsettling. The first time I had one, shortly after I’d gotten sober, I woke up convinced that I’d relapsed. I’ve had a few since then, and they always follow the same theme: Alcohol somehow gets into my system (one time it was raining wine; in another, I was making coffee at Deborah’s house and didn’t notice that her K-cups were full of rosé), and I spend the rest of the dream trying to rationalize that I’m Not That Drunk and therefore still in recovery.

In last night’s dream, I was meeting with a new therapist, who lived in my apartment complex for some reason. He offered to refill my anti-anxiety medication, then asked how long I’d been sober (I was wearing a T-shirt from a 12-Step event), at which point I realized I’d been doing shots before our appointment.

So I explained that I used to have a bad drinking problem, and that I’d gone without drinking for a number of years, but now I drank responsibly, hoping he couldn’t tell how buzzed I was.

Discordians celebrating Afflux: Battered and bruised but still giggling about something inappropriate. (Image via Pixabay.)

And then he tried to pagansplain the history of Wicca to me, and I suddenly woke up, because not even Asleep Me wanted to deal with that conversation.

Drinking dreams used to really freak me out, but now they engender a sense of gratitude. I wake up relieved to be sober, and grateful that I’m no longer controlled by alcohol. So it’s kind of auspicious that I had a drinking dream the night before Afflux, because it gave me a chance to look back on the way my life used to be, and to think about how I want my life to continue improving.

Afflux is a day of putting things back together. For me, that means job hunting and working on patching up a friendship that fell by the wayside awhile back. Solving jigsaw puzzles (something I did a lot in early sobriety) would be a fun way to celebrate the Holyday, as would baking, if you think about it in terms of taking a bunch of random, unrelated substances and welding them together into a tasty, unified whole.

I am a terror in the kitchen, so personally, I’m going to stick with amends and finding sources of income. But if you can pull something out of the oven without setting off a fire alarm, then hey, knock yourself out, with my blessing.

Or just skip the confections and go straight for the cocaine. (Image via Pixio.)

If you have the materials on hand, kintsugi — the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery with gold lacquer — would also be a meaningful way to commemorate Afflux. The philosophy behind kintsugi is that breakages are part of an object’s story: By using gold to fix the cracks, the damaged item becomes more beautiful for what it’s been through.

And if you don’t have any broken crockery lying around, feel free to smash a coffee mug or something, then glue it back together however you want. Build something entirely new out of it — turn it into an abstract sculpture, or a self-defense weapon, or even a ritual tool. Acknowledge how the breaks in your own past have made you stronger in the long run, and how they have allowed you to reinvent yourself.

Beam that same intention into the ceramic shards in front of you. And use them to make something beautiful.

And, of course, you also have the option of just getting plastered and gleefully demolishing things until you run out of steam. You can figure out what to do about all the carnage once the hangover passes. Because maybe the true Afflux is all the frangible stuff we destroyed along the way.

Even a forest fire can offer illumination. Which… doesn’t quite sound as inspirational onscreen as it did in my head, but still… (Image via Pixabay.)

Ultimately, there’s no wrong way to observe Afflux, as there’s no wrong way to practice Discordianism. Just come up with something that’ll show Greyface you’re still alive and kicking despite his efforts, and do your best to give him an aneurism with mirth and reverence.

Then go get some Taco Bell. It’ll help with the hangover. Trust me on this. I speak from the experience of innumerable Affluxes past.

More discord, you say? But of course! Follow Fivefold Law on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and Zazzle.

About Thumper
Thumper Marjorie Splitfoot Forge is a Gardnerian High Priest, an initiate of the Minoan Brotherhood, an Episkopos of the Dorothy Clutterbuck Memorial Cabal of Laverna Discordia, a recovering alcoholic, and a notary public from Houston, TX. You can read more about the author here.

Browse Our Archives

What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment

62 responses to “Discordian Jubilees: Afflux (Like a Solstice, ‘Cept Different)”

  1. I cherished up to you will obtain carried out proper here.

    The sketch is tasteful, your authored material stylish.
    nevertheless, you command get bought an nervousness over
    that you want be handing over the following. sick unquestionably come further
    beforehand again as precisely the same just about very frequently
    within case you defend this hike.

  2. I get pleasure from, result in I found exactly what I was taking a
    look for. You have ended my four day long hunt! God Bless you
    man. Have a great day. Bye

  3. I absolutely love your blog.. Excellent colors & theme.
    Did you develop this website yourself? Please reply back
    as I’m planning to create my own blog and would love
    to learn where you got this from or just what the theme is named.
    Many thanks!

  4. Hi there, the whole thing is going fine here and ofcourse every one
    is sharing data, that’s actually fine, keep up writing.

  5. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I truly appreciate your efforts and I will be waiting for your further write ups thank you once again.

  6. I all the time emailed this weblog post page to all my
    contacts, for the reason that if like to read it afterward my friends will too.

  7. Personalized Approach: We take a personalized approach to financial planning, tax, and insurance services. We work closely with clients to understand their unique needs and goals, and offer customized solutions that fit their specific requirements.

  8. Great beat ! I would like to apprentice at the same time as you amend
    your web site, how could i subscribe for a blog website?
    The account helped me a applicable deal. I were a little bit familiar of
    this your broadcast provided brilliant clear idea

  9. Hello i am kavin, its my first time to commenting
    anyplace, when i read this piece of writing i
    thought i could also make comment due to this good paragraph.

  10. Hi to every one, the contents present at this web
    page are actually remarkable for people knowledge, well, keep up the good work fellows.

  11. Hi there it’s me, I am also visiting this site regularly, this website is really pleasant and the
    people are really sharing good thoughts.

  12. With havin so much written content do you ever run into any issues of plagorism or copyright violation? My blog has a lot of completely unique content I’ve either created myself or outsourced but it appears a lot of it is
    popping it up all over the internet without my authorization. Do you know any methods to help protect against content from being stolen?
    I’d genuinely appreciate it.

  13. Other than plants, animals can also experience sterility. It is usually caused by an abnormal environment, stress, prolonged or increased use, and/or changes in the environment. There have been cases of sterile animals in bloodhounds and other animals. Breeders often modify their stock. This may involve the selection of new individuals. The remaining breeds become more distinct and personal. Breeders are reluctant to create sub-breeds. In order to avoid creating new sub-breeds, breeders often modify their stock. Many plants can be found wild in different parts. Although many of these plants are useful in agriculture they can also cause sterility.

  14. I would like to thank you for the efforts you have put in penning this website.

    I am hoping to check out the same high-grade blog posts from you in the future as well.
    In fact, your creative writing abilities has inspired me to get my very own blog now 😉

  15. What’s up, this weekend is fastidious designed for me, as this time i am reading this impressive educational paragraph here
    at my house.

  16. Every weekend i used to go to see this site, because i want enjoyment, for the
    reason that this this site conations truly nice funny information too.

  17. Great post. I was checking constantly this weblog and
    I am impressed! Extremely useful information specifically the
    remaining part 🙂 I care for such info a lot.
    I was seeking this particular information for a very lengthy time.
    Thank you and best of luck.

  18. Hi, i feel that i noticed you visited my blog thus i came to return the desire?.I
    am attempting to find issues to improve my web site!I guess its adequate
    to make use of some of your concepts!!

  19. Someone necessarily help to make severely posts I’d state.
    This is the first time I frequented your web page and up to
    now? I surprised with the analysis you made to make this actual publish extraordinary.
    Fantastic task!

  20. Today, while I was at work, my cousin stole my apple ipad and tested to
    see if it can survive a 25 foot drop, just so she can be a youtube sensation. My iPad is now destroyed and she
    has 83 views. I know this is entirely off topic but I had to share it with someone!

  21. Its not my first time to pay a quick visit this website, i
    am browsing this web page dailly and get fastidious facts from here all the time.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

Close Ad