May 8, 2019

Years ago at a conference, the husband of a dear friend said to me, “Your work has helped my wife through a tremendously difficult time. Thank you, thank you for what you do.” Deeply moved I said, “You are so welcome!” Ten minutes later he found me again and said, “I’m sorry, I thought you were Rachel Held Evans.” Well, there you go! And who better to defer to than Rachel? She has helped many of us through tremendously difficult… Read more

March 5, 2019

Well there you go. We just saw this in the Methodist Church. This is what happens when you put the dignity of human beings in the hands of ruling authorities: the thumb may go up and the thumb may go down. When people (it’s traditionally straight men of the accepted color) are put in charge of deciding the fate of other people, especially people who do not look like them, things fall apart. Of course they will marginalize others: that’s… Read more

January 6, 2019

She stood on stage in front of over 5,000 people. She told of a phone call she received where her life changed forever. It was her daughter on the other end, “Mom, I think I am bisexual.” She turned to her church, her community, for support. She was told that she had to choose between her church or her daughter. Her voice cracked as she shared of the life she knew dissolving. She loves her community and she loves her… Read more

November 16, 2018

March 31 was Transgender Day of Visibility. With all the conversation about who we pee next to, I wondered if you could tell who was actually a transgender woman. Can you spot her? Can you tell? Do you care? Unfortunately, many seem to care – especially those in the nonaffirming church – and they have responded with fear-mongering and vicious lies, trying to make this about the safety of our children. Honestly, they should be ashamed of themselves. Anyone who… Read more

March 29, 2018

Today’s cultural landscape seems designed to divide us. News and social media practically push us to one end of the spectrum or the other, on whatever issue. This is binary or dual thinking because it offers only two choices, even for the most complex layered issues. We stampede over people in our rush to be right. Christians—with Jesus in common—likewise trample people in their quest to be right. They too choose sides in complex questions. (Gender roles, providing for the… Read more

March 27, 2018

When I learned that Alex’s mother threw dishes at her and threw her down the stairs because she’s gay—that’s the day I knew I had to advocate for the LGBTQ+ community. I’d been educating myself since my two daughters came out—nearly a decade ago now—and I was shocked by what I learned: A scant 6 verses have been misinterpreted and abused to marginalize and oppress our LGBTQ+ brothers and sisters. Duplicitous Christians stand firmly against “gays” while abuses of power… Read more

March 15, 2018

Every time I tell our story, and I say that I have two queer daughters, I have to add a disclaimer. Usually something like, “that’s the phrase they chose.” If I don’t, it is inevitable that I will get confronted on my use of the word queer. It is an immediate reminder that while we may have come so far, we have so far to go. Why should a label matter so much? If you knew my two daughters, it… Read more

January 4, 2018

Alarming numbers of young people who are gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender or queer are becoming homeless, kicked out of families and churches, choosing substance abuse, and even making the tragic decision to end their own lives. What are we called to do? When certain Pharisees — the ones who were focused on behaving the “right” way instead of loving — were nose-to-nose with Jesus, they missed him! They didn’t understand at all. You may be doing the same thing. This… Read more

October 11, 2017

Coming out to your Christian parents can be a real risk. You put everything on the line, and you don’t know what will happen. Will they come alongside you? Or disown you? I’m a Christian mom of five kids. My oldest daughter came out about 8 years ago and soon after, my youngest daughter came out. We embraced them immediately, but many parents don’t. I just filmed a video for The Advocate magazine that is specifically for people who are… Read more

October 10, 2017

Hey fellow Moms and Dads. You may feel like a deer in the headlights! Your child just told you: “Mom, I’m gay,” “Dad, I’m lesbian,” “I’m bisexual,” or “I’m transgender.” I know! This is the last thing you want to hear, and your head is spinning. What does this mean? What will become of my child? What did I do wrong?! I understand. This can be a very hard time for you. But you can get through this. My name… Read more

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