The phrase “family values” gets thrown around like a badge of honor by the religious right. It’s plastered across political speeches, church billboards, and campaign slogans. But let’s be honest: the way they use “family values” has little to do with actual families—and even less to do with values.
When they talk about family values, what they mean is a rigid, cookie-cutter picture: one man, one woman, two kids, a white picket fence, and absolutely no deviation from their script. They wield “family values” as a weapon to shame, exclude, and condemn families who don’t fit their mold—especially LGBTQ families and those who love and support LGBTQ children.
The Myth of the ‘Perfect Family’
The religious right sells a myth that a “good family” looks a certain way and follows a certain rulebook. But real families? They’re messy. They’re diverse. They’re made up of single parents, blended families, queer parents, grandparents raising kids, chosen families—and every other beautiful, sacred arrangement where love and care thrive.
When “family values” is used to reject or marginalize these families, it’s not a value at all—it’s a weapon of control. It is not about protecting families. It’s about enforcing conformity at the expense of love.
Real Family Values Are Rooted in Love
A true family value is showing up for each other, no matter what. It’s loving your child when they tell you who they are, not when they fit a mold.
It’s standing with your LGBTQ child in a world that tells them they are less-than—and reminding them they are infinitely valuable and deeply loved.
Real family values are listening, caring, forgiving, and fighting for one another. They are not built on fear or shame—they are built on the radical, unconditional love that Jesus modeled.
The Harm of the Religious Right’s Narrative
When the religious right hijacks “family values,” it harms real families.
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It pressures parents to reject their children in the name of faith.
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It silences voices that speak out for love and inclusion.
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It creates a toxic environment where LGBTQ youth feel unsafe—even at home.
This is not just a matter of politics. It’s a matter of life and death for vulnerable kids who need their parents’ love and acceptance more than anything else.
Reclaiming Family Values
We need to reclaim this phrase. Family values are not about gender roles or who’s allowed to marry whom. They are about choosing love, again and again.
If you stand by your LGBTQ child, you are living out the highest form of family values. If you welcome your child’s partner with open arms, you are showing the kind of love that transforms the world.
The Family Values That Change Everything
The families that change the world aren’t the ones who look perfect on a Christmas card. They’re the ones who choose compassion over condemnation, who put love over fear, and who say, “You are mine, and nothing will ever change that.”
That’s the kind of family value we need to lift up and celebrate. That’s the kind of family value that will heal hearts and save lives.
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