If you’re a teen, confused by your sexuality—or certain of it but do not feel accepted—then I want to talk just to you for a moment.
Stories emerge every day of teens coming out. Some parents wholeheartedly embrace them, like the couple who was kicked out of their church in Tennessee after 60 years of being there because they support their gay daughter. Some parents reject their children, as many of the tragic stories in this blog have made clear. But here’s the most important thing: a parent’s reaction to their child’s coming out has nothing to do with the child they either support or reject.
A parent who supports, loves and provides for their child is a good parent. (That is the job of a parent.) A parent who rejects, disowns or abandons their child is a bad parent. It has nothing to do with the child.
But if you are caught up in it, you may really need support to get you through. A real friend, a gay-affirming church, a friend’s parents – I don’t know where help might come from, but I hope you find it.
Check out It Gets Better, The Trevor Project or other resources. Even if you’re underage, whatever situation you are in is not permanent. Instead, reach out to allies – maybe digital or long distance. Don’t make any moves that will hurt you. You’re not the only one in this position, and statistics are staggering on LGBTQ teens who run away and end up homeless or as prostitutes. Whatever happens, please, don’t do anything drastic. Don’t let an awful temporary situation drive you to despair. Instead, do your best to wait it out. Take heart. Your freedom will come.
Support for gay relationships and gay marriage is rising every day. The trend is on your side. It gets better, it gets easier, you get more comfortable, you find more resources, you find more community. Your whole life is ahead of you – if you hang in there.
Feel free to email me. And know that I (and others) are praying for you. It gets way, way better, I promise!
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