I am writing you this letter because I know—both as a mom of five kids, and as a human being—that we could all use a little more tenderhearted mothering. You, Sweetheart, you are beautiful—I can tell from here! You are loving, you are kind, you are only seeking the best for yourself and others in the world. I know these things are true about you. Who could ask more than that?! God designed you in God’s very image—yes! Exactly as... Read more
She barely hung up the phone before the tears poured out. “Oh, God, why are you letting this happen? Why??” She just saw all the pictures—accidentally—of the family holiday party. She had no idea there was a party because no one told her about it. They simply had a family party and excluded her. What the hell?? She was unspeakably angry, immeasurably hurt. She’d scrolled on her phone as she sat in her jammies bingeing on Netflix when she saw... Read more
Congratulations. You’ve won. You’ve earned your ticket into Heaven by showing your son God’s love. You’ve shown your son God’s love by not allowing him to bring me to your home for Christmas. You’ve done exactly what Jesus would do – shun others. After all, Jesus didn’t let JUST ANYONE at his table. It’s sad that on a day you celebrate the birth of Christ, you’ll be acting in the complete opposite way that Jesus acted. Alas, you must show... Read more
Hey fellow Moms and Dads. You may feel like a deer in the headlights! Your child just told you: “Mom, I’m gay,” “Dad, I’m lesbian,” “I’m bisexual,” or “I’m transgender.” I know! This is the last thing you want to hear, and your head is spinning. What does this mean? What will become of my child? What did I do wrong?! I understand. This can be a very hard time for you. But you can get through this. My name... Read more
Coming out to your Christian parents can be a real risk. You put everything on the line, and you don’t know what will happen. Will they come alongside you? Or disown you? I’m a mom of five kids, and we spent more than 20 years in the evangelical church. My oldest daughter came out about 10 years ago and soon after, my youngest daughter came out. We embraced them immediately, but many parents don’t. I filmed a video for The... Read more
James Dobson doesn’t really “Focus on the Family”… he just focuses on SOME families. Full marriage equality is coming; full acceptance, inclusion and belonging is coming. It’s only a matter of time, and it’s about time! Dobson’s attacks, representative of so many in the non-affirming evangelical church, have gone on for a long time and they are getting old and are more out of touch than ever. They are unBiblical and unlike the Jesus they claim to represent. As I... Read more
Years ago at a conference, the husband of a dear friend said to me, “Your work has helped my wife through a tremendously difficult time. Thank you, thank you for what you do.” Deeply moved I said, “You are so welcome!” Ten minutes later he found me again and said, “I’m sorry, I thought you were Rachel Held Evans.” Well, there you go! And who better to defer to than Rachel? She has helped many of us through tremendously difficult... Read more
Well there you go. We just saw this in the Methodist Church. This is what happens when you put the dignity of human beings in the hands of ruling authorities: the thumb may go up and the thumb may go down. When people (it’s traditionally straight men of the accepted color) are put in charge of deciding the fate of other people, especially people who do not look like them, things fall apart. Of course they will marginalize others: that’s... Read more
She stood on stage in front of over 5,000 people. She told of a phone call she received where her life changed forever. It was her daughter on the other end, “Mom, I think I am bisexual.” She turned to her church, her community, for support. She was told that she had to choose between her church or her daughter. Her voice cracked as she shared of the life she knew dissolving. She loves her community and she loves her... Read more
March 31 was Transgender Day of Visibility. With all the conversation about who we pee next to, I wondered if you could tell who was actually a transgender woman. Can you spot her? Can you tell? Do you care? Unfortunately, many seem to care – especially those in the nonaffirming church – and they have responded with fear-mongering and vicious lies, trying to make this about the safety of our children. Honestly, they should be ashamed of themselves. Anyone who... Read more
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