Game Changer

Ha! You thought I was going to announce I am pregnant, and that’s the game changer, didn’t you? Well, if you did then you’d be w-r-o-n-g because I am still sub-fertile and now you’re stuck reading on to see what the game changer is. Sucker.

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I’ve been quiet because shit is getting real over here.

My Napro doc broke up with me. Seriously, I didn’t even realize that was a thing. She took one look at my chart for the last cycle and was like, “I don’t even know what this is.” I don’t know what her actual response was, but I do know she sent me an email telling me her experience and knowledge was no longer suficient for my case.

I’ll tell ya. You know what makes you feel like it is WAY worse than you thought it was?

A doctor telling you that she doesn’t have enough knowledge or experience to treat you.

There I was on our way to the Christmas tree farm to get our tree, and I decided to check my email. Bad. Nothing quite takes the holiday spirit out of cutting down a Christmas tree as deep abiding sorrow. It was also 65 degrees outside, which also sort of ruined the moment. At least Maggie had fun getting filthy and eating pine needles.

Mother of the year, right here.

So…

I got nothing. But I did find Suri’s Burn Book (where have I been?) and it’s a game changer. Go ahead, look at it. You can thank me later. I tried making Atticus look at it, and he was all, “Why are you looking at pictures of celebrities kids? What kind of person just posts random pictures of famous children?” I tried explaining Suri and he wasn’t impressed. He doesn’t really speak sarcastic.

Also, she has a book. Whoever gets it for me for Christmas will be my best friend forever.

I think that’s it. Oh, and Stevie Wonder Christmas music. You can’t be sad when Stevie Wonder is singing.