Here’s the meat and potatoes without wasting your time with 700 extra characters.
I internally struggle with alcohol consumption.
Not internally as in how much I consume, but rather the implications it has when I ask myself why.
Being an extrovert, [mostly] only child who was single until the age of 31 I did a lot of social drinking… A lot. Most of the time it was honest and moderated by my conviction and most of the time I would drink two more beers than I should have because I am good at hiding my level of intoxication.
Most of the time.
At 23 I was drunk for the better part of 6 months because I learned the hard lesson that sometimes people only want you around for what you can offer them, and when that thing is gone so are they. I went from being the lead singer of a Christian Rap-Rock band [yes this was in the early 2000’s] to a bartender who drank almost as much as I served. This is when I learned how to hide. While working I would have a plastic cup next to me that magically got the excess of the drinks I wanted to try after making them. Only to then drive to the bar with my sober co-workers and slam as many shots of Jagermeister with a Miller Lite chaser as we could in the only hour of freedom we had. I finally quit that job in order to distance myself from the routine, and it worked, mostly.
See, most of the time I was able to have a few drinks and call it a night. And most of the time I would fall asleep with a half full beer because I was ready to be done, but I wasn’t ready to be done. Booze wasn’t even necessarily the “thorn in my side”; that was women, but booze kept me social… I’ve never needed to drink to “have a good time”, but if we’re having a good time, we might as well have a drink, right? Yeah, most of the time.
If I am not honest with myself, God, my wife, and you then it is incredibly easy for me to mask how much I drink, but as I mentioned in the beginning the most important question is “Why?”. So here is my check list; I hope it helps you reevaluate some part of your life and forces you to be honest with yourself, God and those closest to you.
Am I drinking because I’m stressed?
Am I drinking to help me sleep?
Am I drinking because beer is delicious?
Am I drinking because it’s something I can control?
Am I drinking to remain socially relevant?
Am I honoring my God and my family?