I Will Never Have Another Dog

I WILL NEVER OWN….

I will never own another dog after these two, Bob and Bella pass away someday. Yeah, they are more important to me than you. Sorry. They just are. If the house was on fire and they were in it, and yours was burning next door as well, I would save my dogs. If you own a dog, you know what I mean. You, in your burning house, owned a dog and it was my house burning, I would expect nothing less than you save your own dog before me. I have lived a good life, but dogs—well, they are gifts from God Almighty.

Now, I have to be truthful, I said that same thing when Betty and June were with me, that they would be the last dogs I own. They were the two dogs I had before Bob and Bella. Those two were with me while I was married and were with me when my wife died of cancer. They were the two things I could find peace with. After they died, about seven months after my wife, and four days apart, I figured why not have all the deaths in your life happen in one season?

     …because all dogs go to Heaven.

Shortly after they went to Heaven, because all dogs go to Heaven, I started looking for new dogs and Bella and Bob were it. It actually was Bella and Beast, the family thinking the Beauty and Beast idea was a good theme to go with. But you can’t name one Beast (a chocolate lab) and the other Bella when Bella is an English Mastiff and outweighs her brother by forty pounds. So, I changed it to Bob. Who knows what is going to happen after these two find their way home.

I might get another pair, thinking you always have to have two so they keep each other company. But the heartache of losing them is getting old. I hate it, and the idea of going before them and causing them to wonder where I went, yeah, can’t do that either. But it does get you, at least me, to talk to God about it. He loves it when I talk with Him, really about anything.

     God puts things….

God puts things in our life to inspire us, comfort us, remind us of Him. It can be so easy to simply press forward on our own merits and skill set. We don’t have to ask permission to do any of it. It’s part of the struggle, which He puts there as well. We ask ourselves questions about how we wound up where we did, how can we get out of it, how long will it take. Sometimes, we find ourselves yelling and swearing at God, who could have made this whole thing go away. Yep, He could have.

But He didn’t.

Why?

Why does a supposedly loving and caring Father, allow crap to fall on our heads? God, our Father, why do you allow dogs to die which I will use as a metaphor for life in general?

     …crap to fall.

I think we need to remember it was us who did the stuff to cause the crap to fall. We have been infected with sin in our lives since that little issue of disobeying His one rule in the Garden. “Don’t eat that.” It was like the sign on a green lawn which says “Don’t walk on the grass.” I didn’t think about walking on your lawn until you told me not to. Now, its almost like I can’t help it. As a matter of fact, its your fault I walked on the grass!!

Really?

I guess we have to believe, have faith, that God really is, well, good. Its hard to believe since we’ve never seen Him. Seeing is believing, right? Thomas held off saying he wasn’t going to believe the rabbi he was following had risen from the dead until he put his fingers in his wounds. That seemed a little drastic. I would hope I would say something like if I saw him again, I would believe. If I-we, believe God is who he says he is, it is a short leap to Him having the ability to make all things good-for us. But good, well, that’s a loose term.

So, why the rain of dung on me, maybe for years? And just to add to the discussion and to quote my daughter who made a great point, just because I believe and have faith, doesn’t mean I’m not going to get eaten by the Great Fish. There’s a nice thought.

    I believe….

I believe Dad does what Dad does to build our faith and to come closer to Him, not push us away from Him. Where else can I turn, when the world is burning around me? I can try on my own, but I am now old enough that doesn’t work and if it does, it doesn’t for very long. I have never prayed so much and felt so close to Dad as I have in tough times. Like really tough times. But I am fully aware many people are worse off than I ever was.

Faith is a tough word to hear. Don’t you have faith in God? Ah, no! sometimes is the answer. I have believed in him for decades and I still question what He is doing. That’s okay.

He knew I would.

But the reality is He never fails-ever. God never gives up on me. He is the one holding me up, even though I think it’s me. It might mean we get eaten by the Great Fish. Maybe it does.

Or maybe He gives us the opportunity to stare it in the eye with a slight smirk on our face.

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