The Ultimate Summer Slacker List: Reclaiming Sabbath

The Ultimate Summer Slacker List: Reclaiming Sabbath May 27, 2015

Hey, all y’all “summer bucket list people.” I love you and you’re adorable, and I am in awe of your ambition. But you are really, really cramping my style. Your lofty goals make it hard for me to embrace the epic, glorious laziness to which I am committed for this season. One day, my kids are going to be old enough to read the internet, and they are going to want to know why I have not planned craft projects, group play dates, homemade ice cream extravaganzas and neighborhood theater productions for every day of their break.

These are not my legs. These are definitely not my fancy shoes.
These are not my legs. These are definitely not my fancy shoes.

My answer will be… because summer is for slackers! This is our time to shine! Reject the Pottery Barn notion that summer is a color coordinated lawn party with place cards!  Step away from Pinterest (unless you are studying sangria recipes)! We are reclaiming the hammock. And we are planting our asses there for the duration.

Here’s my version of the dream summer list. Let’s call it the Summer Hammock List, because buckets usually have something to do with work. Unless you are talking about sand castles, I don’t want to hear about buckets in my house. I will, however, commit to the following. This summer I will:

  1. Set my alarm clock as few times as possible.
  2. Forget where I keep the hair-taming appliances and embrace my Monica Gellar “vacation hair” in all it’s glory.
  3. Have cereal for dinner.
  4. Have ice cream for dinner.
  5. Take long naps in the afternoons during Vacation Bible School week.
  6. Schedule as few evening meetings as my real life will allow for.
  7. Resist the urge to constantly troll TripAdvisor and overplan my vacation.
  8. Spend hours in the back yard; reading library books that do not imply complex theological concepts in the title.
  9. Binge watch whatever I want on Netflix. (New episodes of OITNB, coming soon!)
  10. Have friends and neighbors over for dinner. At the last minute. And resist the urge to wait until I’ve cleaned the house.
  11. Keep our neighborhood barbecue and taco joints in business; thus supporting the local economy AND eliminating some kitchen-related chores from my life.
  12. Take kids to movies that I will hate, and enjoy the a/c and popcorn and two hours of sitting still in the darkness.
  13. Drive fast with the windows down and sing lots of Zeppelin. Loud.
  14. Call my bff’s in all the other timezones whenever I want. Because they are probably slacking about too, and that’s why I love them so.
  15. Mow the yard at least a few times. Because my husband says if I really want to be a feminist, that is part of the package. And I kind of dig the smell of grass.
  16. Drink iced coffee on my deck. Drink beer on my deck. Because for the first time in my grown up life, I have a deck!
  17. Drop what I’m doing and play with my kids, whenever they ask me.
  18. Go on outdoor concert dates with my spouse, and drop the kids off with friends so we don’t have to pack juice boxes and hand wipes and SPF 50.
  19. Work out of the office and in public spaces more often; people watch; talk to strangers.
  20. Find—for real this year—the perfect wine pairing to compliment the BLT.

Ok, that’s mine. Fellow summer slackers… Identify yourselves! What’s on your not-to-do list?

Leave you in the summertime… Ain’t jokin woman, I gotta ramble.

Babe, babe babe babe babe babe babe…


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