Trump’s gospel

Twitter users recently compressed the Gospel according to Donald Trump into some pretty funny ≤140-character statements.

#TrumpGospel "There's something about 'you'll always have the poor with you' so I'm just trying to make sure it holds true, okay?"

— Ornery One (@Ornery1951) September 10, 2016

The Hebrews went down into Egypt. Believe me,they didnt send their best people. The Egyptians barely had a country.No wall. Sad #TrumpGospel

— Josh Marshall (@joshtpm) September 10, 2016

Jesus just doesn't get it. People don't like waiting. Second coming is taking WAY too long. Americans want results NOW. #TrumpGospel

— Heath Carter (@heathwcarter) September 10, 2016

Judas was a good guy. A great guy. I met him once. He loved me. #TrumpGospel

— (((Maria))) (@mariadishappy) September 10, 2016

If elected l will redo the Commandments. Ten is too many. Big government. I like commandments that don't mention adultery, ok? #TrumpGospel

— Therra (@Therra) September 10, 2016

"Come to me, all you who are weary and heavily burdened, and I will send you back to wherever the hell you came from" #TrumpGospel

— Cole Brown (@colebrownpdx) September 10, 2016

Jesus is very low energy. Took 3 days to rise from the dead. Sad! I could have done it in 3 hours! #TrumpGospel

— Historical Trump (@HistoryDTrump) September 10, 2016

I have a lot of friends but I'm not about to lay my life down for them. Not smart. At least not until we abolish the death tax. #TrumpGospel

— Heath Carter (@heathwcarter) September 10, 2016

Pilate, very strong leader. Different system from ours, but very strong. #TrumpGospel

— Josh Marshall (@joshtpm) September 10, 2016