August 27, 2019

I like to think of my soul as a shiny thing; a beacon of divine essence, a tiny portion of Godself that the Creator poured into me, one tiny aspect of all that is sacred and holy, walking around on the earth. But my embodiment is not drenched with that divine stuff — no. Rather, that holy essence is encased in the mystery of skin and bone and psyche, pushed into the deepest recesses, where all my own divinity —… Read more

July 9, 2019

It’s been a minute since I posted here, because I’ve been deep into writing a book all about how good people can also be crazy racist (Good* White Racist is due out in the spring of 2020). Now that I’ve come up for air from that happy little topic, I can see that the world still turns, I still need to get me some coffee and Jesus** every morning, and racism is still a thing in the United States. I… Read more

February 24, 2019

First, let’s start with this: the only people who really get to be pissed at Jussie Smollett are the people who cared when they thought he was telling the truth. The other only people who get to be pissed at Jussie Smollett are the members of the marginalized communities he represents. Period. If you’re not sure who I’m talking about, Jussie Smollett is an actor who is Black and gay, and recently posted that he’d been hospitalized after being attacked… Read more

February 1, 2019

It started before I even woke up: all the promotional emails piled up in my inbox, determined to usurp Black History Month and turn it into a retail bonanza designed to grab my dollars, but not necessarily to put them into the pockets of actual Black people. While it’s good and right and necessary to celebrate and lift up Black History Month, as a white woman who wants to do better, I’d rather find ways to authentically and actually celebrate… Read more

January 19, 2019

We white people love to feel comfortable, and nothing can make us feel better about ourselves than some snippets of MLK’s I Have a Dream speech on a cold January day. Before you share your own well-curated meme on social media, I encourage you to do a little research. Because if you’re anything like I was prior to last August, you’ll be shocked at how radically uncomfortable Dr. King might be able to make you. So before you share your pretty… Read more

January 13, 2019

The first time I ever heard Leonard Cohen’s Halleluja was at a funeral. It has forever ruined me for the song — I have no idea who the woman was who sang it that sad day, but she should be the only person who ever sings it again, ever*. The funeral was for my former boss, Ron. Like the woman who sang for his funeral, Ron ruined me for all bosses since. Ron was one of a kind. Tall, with… Read more

January 7, 2019

As someone whose mother-tongue is Jersey Snark, I’m the first to acknowledge my own salty vocabulary. I confess I don’t try very hard — usually — to check myself, because I have found that whenever I try, it just gets worse. Within minutes of promising I’ll never curse again a torrent of curse words will be elicited from my mouth seemingly of their own accord. Of course, I’m a professional, and I recognize when it’s not in my best interest… Read more

January 1, 2019

I have a new friend I met online. She is a transgender woman who ministers to other trans people out of her pain, out of what she calls the brutality of her existence. The church has made her existence brutal. Christians have made her existence brutal. The world is not a kind place for transgender people, especially not trans women. Especially not trans women who are followers of Jesus. The grace and beauty and love with which she leads is… Read more

October 23, 2018

I haven’t written here in so long. I have lots of excuses, seminary being a big one. And this year is supervised ministry, to boot, which means on top of trying to study and run my coaching and consulting business and take care of my family and my aging parents and, you know, breathe every once in a while, I’m also doing a ton of work at the church. Which is amazing, and I love, but sometimes there’s hardly room… Read more

September 1, 2018

I’m not saying my head isn’t exploding after I just watched the video of Ariana Grande getting groped by a pastor in front of millions of people at a funeral.  I’m just saying I’m not surprised.  This is the kind of crap that women deal with all the f’ing time.   As in, #NotAShocker.   If you’re shocked, then chances are you’re not a woman. If you’re a woman and you’re shocked, than Go You, because you have managed to… Read more

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