January 13, 2019

The first time I ever heard Leonard Cohen’s Halleluja was at a funeral. It has forever ruined me for the song — I have no idea who the woman was who sang it that sad day, but she should be the only person who ever sings it again, ever*. The funeral was for my former boss, Ron. Like the woman who sang for his funeral, Ron ruined me for all bosses since. Ron was one of a kind. Tall, with… Read more

January 7, 2019

As someone whose mother-tongue is Jersey Snark, I’m the first to acknowledge my own salty vocabulary. I confess I don’t try very hard — usually — to check myself, because I have found that whenever I try, it just gets worse. Within minutes of promising I’ll never curse again a torrent of curse words will be elicited from my mouth seemingly of their own accord. Of course, I’m a professional, and I recognize when it’s not in my best interest… Read more

January 1, 2019

I have a new friend I met online. She is a transgender woman who ministers to other trans people out of her pain, out of what she calls the brutality of her existence. The church has made her existence brutal. Christians have made her existence brutal. The world is not a kind place for transgender people, especially not trans women. Especially not trans women who are followers of Jesus. The grace and beauty and love with which she leads is… Read more

October 23, 2018

I haven’t written here in so long. I have lots of excuses, seminary being a big one. And this year is supervised ministry, to boot, which means on top of trying to study and run my coaching and consulting business and take care of my family and my aging parents and, you know, breathe every once in a while, I’m also doing a ton of work at the church. Which is amazing, and I love, but sometimes there’s hardly room… Read more

September 1, 2018

I’m not saying my head isn’t exploding after I just watched the video of Ariana Grande getting groped by a pastor in front of millions of people at a funeral.  I’m just saying I’m not surprised.  This is the kind of crap that women deal with all the f’ing time.   As in, #NotAShocker.   If you’re shocked, then chances are you’re not a woman. If you’re a woman and you’re shocked, than Go You, because you have managed to… Read more

August 6, 2018

I confess I have a deep, rich imagination that I like to wander in often, getting lost among the tall, sturdy ideals that grow there. There in that inner land, all is as it should be, and justice has her way. The radical redemption of Jesus is a thing, and so is the revolutionary welcome. In there — that place in my head — there are no children in cages, there are no black men shot down in the street,… Read more

August 4, 2018

My amazing friend, wife and mom of three, Michelle Ayala, is in the news here in New Jersey.   For having the cops called on her.   Because she was breastfeeding her child.   Now you and me, we’re going to break this shit down a little bit, because yes, it’s ridiculous to have the cops called on you for sitting on the beach feeding your kid. But there’s a bigger issue at play here — there’s a system of… Read more

August 2, 2018

It happens over and over and over again. Very nice and good white people — the kind you really wouldn’t mind having as your neighbor, the kind you could invite over for a glass of wine or to run to the mall with you — say something that might sound just a tad bit racist. They don’t mean it. And you trust that if they were to ever, say, find themselves in a situation in which they had the chance… Read more

June 8, 2018

I’m not going to claim that I’m the best qualified person to lead this discussion, nor am I the smartest person in this area (or any area, for that matter). I’m not going to claim that I’m solving the world’s problems or even making a dent in this racism thing. But I do think that one of the reasons we have not yet been able to truly cure ourselves of the disease of racism is because we have not yet… Read more

May 25, 2018

Power structures, when they are working right, are insidious creations. You swim in them, but you don’t even notice they’re there. They inform your thoughts, tamper with your perspective, and practically build your opinion for you. Here, think this. Think that, about this. Between real news that’s called fake and fake news that’s called real, it can be difficult to actually notice the manipulation of our souls by the power structures that surround us. And more often than not, the power… Read more

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