One of the discussion questions at our recent symposium asked something all religions should teach but most ignore: how do you know you’re on the right path? How do you know the choices you’ve made are the right ones?
Our group had a variety of answers. Some spoke of an inner peace that comes when you’re doing the right things. Others strongly disagreed and talked about the anxiety that comes when you step out of your comfort zone to take on something new and unfamiliar.
My experience is different from both of these approaches. In the moment I never know if I’m doing the right thing or not. It’s only after the fact, when I can look back and see how far I’ve come and when I can see what new opportunities the path has presented, that I can say “yes, this was the right choice” or “no, I should have done something else.”
Fortunately, there are clues that help us make informed decisions.
It begins with a call. Sometimes this is a desire – it comes from within. Other times it’s an invitation – it comes from without. Either way, the opportunity has a source. Does it come from the core of your being, from your deepest values and most passionate desires? Or does it come from your fears and insecurities? Does it respond to the yearnings of your soul? Or is someone trying to sell you something to enrich themselves at your expense?
Find the source of the call and decide if it can be trusted.
There is your own good sense. As appealing as it might be to move to Wales, rent a small cottage, and spend the rest of my life writing and communing with the land, financial realities make it highly impractical. Not impossible, mind you – there is little that is truly impossible – just so impractical as to be a poor choice for me.
No matter what advertisers try to tell you, you can’t have it all. You can’t be rich and spend every dollar you make. To choose one path is to reject other paths… and sometimes the ones we reject are then closed permanently.
We may not be able to see exactly where a path – particularly a spiritual path – will lead, but our own ordinary sense can show us the general direction it’s leading, and whether or not that’s a place we want to be.
There is divination. No divination system and no reader can show you a perfect picture of the future. But good divination can help you see all the factors involved in a situation, so you can do a better job of projecting (not predicting) the future yourself. And divination can help amplify and illuminate messages from the Gods, ancestors, and spirits.
None of that will give you a clear yes or no answer as to whether or not you should do something. But it will give you more information so you can do a better job of choosing for yourself.
Faith and The Fool. No matter how much information you collect and no matter how well you analyze it, at some point you have to be The Fool and set out on the journey. Great adventure, learning, and service do not happen on your couch.
We often hear the phrase “stepping out in faith” from our Christian friends. While blind faith is rarely a good thing, we can trust that if the Gods ask us to do things, They will provide what we need to accomplish our tasks. Maybe not in the way we’d prefer, and maybe in ways that involve tradeoffs we’d rather not make, but They rarely ask us to do something that simply can’t be done.
More frequently, we step out in faith by doing the things necessary to be faithful to our values, our traditions, our ancestors, our families, and our communities. We do what must be done because it must be done… and in the process, we begin a journey that turns out to be truly magical.
These are ways you can make informed decisions. But knowing for sure you’re on the right path is only possible after you’ve walked it for a while – maybe for a long while.
If it’s wrong, you’re blocked. The cliché “life’s a journey, not a destination” is only partially true. Yes, you can find love and learning on any path. But paths go somewhere, and some destinations and the routes to get there are better suited to us and to our callings than others.
The path of middle class earning and consumption won’t take you to enlightenment and service. The path of security won’t take you to adventure. The Way of the Gods won’t take you to riches and fame.
What do you want? What are you called to do? Who or what are you called to serve? These choices aren’t as easy to make as we like to think, even when we genuinely want to do the right things. This is particularly true when we’re new to a path and don’t really know what’s involved.
Are you stuck? Is your life stagnant – your spiritual life if not your whole life? Have you been doing the same things the same ways for months or years and you don’t feel like you’re getting anywhere? This doesn’t have to be an unpleasant place: you may have built a nice, safe, comfortable prison for yourself… but a prison nonetheless.
If so, you may be on the wrong path. You may have made a bad decision, or a less-than-ideal decision.
Don’t give up too soon, particularly if what you’re experiencing is ordinary difficulty and not stagnation. If you feel like you’re in the Twelve Labors of Herakles, keep working. If you feel more like Sisyphus, you may want to try something different.
If it’s right, the Way opens. Do the right things for the right reasons and good things will happen. That’s another cliché and it isn’t always true (life is more random than we like to admit – sometimes stuff happens), but it’s true far more than not.
Study diligently and you’ll find yourself presented with opportunities to use what you’ve learned. Honor the Gods consistently and They’ll call you to deeper work with and for Them. Do what needs to be done and you’ll find yourself in a position of leadership… which may not be the glamourous position of power you think it is, but will allow you to be of service to the greater good.
Throughout my Pagan life I’ve rarely been able to see a final destination. I’ve only been able (or allowed, depending on how you want to look at it) to see the next step. When the path leads up a hill, the only way to know what’s on the other side is to climb the hill. Maybe it’s a beautiful meadow. Maybe it’s a nest of dragons. Most of the time it’s another project, another lesson, another opportunity to be of service before continuing along the path… and encountering another hill.
Climbing these hills also gives you a good vantage point to look back and see how far you’ve come. I can see eight years of struggling to get through Wicca 101 books… and I can see how I started making real progress when I found Druidry. I can see how I used to be afraid of speaking in public, and now I lead public rituals, UU Sunday services, and workshops at Pagan gatherings. I can see the same progression in my friends who are doing the work. They’re on the right path and they’re walking it diligently, so the Way opens for them.
So gather information before you make important decisions. Consider it carefully, both logically and intuitively. Be The Fool and take a risk. Then see how it goes, and make adjustments as necessary.
But whatever you do, do something. You can’t be a hero on the couch.