One of the things I was taught growing up is that there’s no such thing as a bad question. If you don’t know something, it’s better to ask than to remain ignorant. Many of my teachers – and most of the better ones – said “if you don’t know, somebody else in the class probably doesn’t know too, so if you ask for yourself, you’re helping others as well.”
I’ve always tried to remember that in my own teaching. Answering religious, spiritual, and magical questions is part of my sacred obligation as a priest. Another part of that obligation is responding “I don’t know” or “different people believe different things” when there is no definitive answer, but that’s another topic for another time.
Now, over the years I’ve learned that not every question is asked in good faith. Some are intended to be argumentative. Some could just as easily be answered by Google. And some carry expectations of free labor. I’ll be happy to answer an occasional question at no charge, but if you want spiritual coaching you should expect to pay for it.
A couple weeks ago I saw a spiritual question floating around Twitter and it wasn’t getting any respect.
How come when I’m coming into my power, no coven has reached out to me? Can’t they feel me? Are there no sears [sic] anymore?
Most of the comments were making fun of the misspelling. “No, there aren’t many Sears anymore – retail is in bankruptcy.” The rest were talking about what an arrogant question that was.
And that bothered me.
I hear someone who’s 15 or 16 or 20 years old (or maybe, someone who’s 45 and just now waking up) who genuinely thinks this is the way things are supposed to work. I think they deserve an honest answer. And while it’s entirely possible this was a troll post by someone who did it for a joke, I don’t care. Like my teachers said long ago, if one person asks it, several others are thinking it.
First, congratulations
You find yourself knowing things you have no way of knowing. Your spells are getting results at an amazing rate. You’re encountering Gods, ancestors, or other spirits. Mainly, you’re starting to see that the world is bigger, more complicated, and more magical than you’ve always been told.
Whatever “coming into your power” means for you, congratulations. You see what others will not, you’re doing something with it, and you’re looking to take it further. This is a good sign and a good start.
But this isn’t how it works
I hear frustration and disappointment in this question, so I want to begin by being gentle and compassionate. But I have to begin by being honest – this isn’t how it works.
The idea that seers in covens and orders scan the ether for new talent comes straight out of magical fiction. Hogwarts’ letters go out to all magical children, even the muggle-born. Charles Xavier uses Cerebro to find the other mutants. The first three witches of The Craft were actively looking for their fourth. I’ve read or seen stories set in a world where when a witch comes into their power, the “good coven” and the “bad coven” fight over them in a recruiting battle that would put college football coaches to shame.
All fiction.
There very well may have been a time or two when a seer noticed a newcomer and called on them – it’s not impossible. But in almost 30 years of practice – including the past 19 in a public setting – I’ve never once heard of it happening.
We all know the difference between fiction and reality. But when we don’t know how reality works, we often take our cues from fiction. The reality of Paganism, magic, and witchcraft aren’t as hard to find as they used to be, but they’re not readily apparent to most of us. It’s easy to set our expectations based on fiction even though we don’t intend to.
And that sets us up for disappointment.
You aren’t unique – and that’s a good thing
One of the more common themes in fiction is the lost princess or the witch who doesn’t know she’s a witch. The main character was born special, and once they discover it their life changes suddenly and for the good.
I wrote about this in a 2018 post titled My Biggest Complaint With Magical Fiction. I understand the attractiveness of stories that say “you’re special” and “you’re entitled to more than this.” None of us are Harry Potter… and none of us are the long-lost child of Bill Gates. I like magical fiction, but is it too much to ask for a few stories where the magic is fanciful but the magicians are ordinary people?
Magic isn’t something that makes us special. Magic is part of our birthright as humans. Now, like any other talent, the capacity for magic varies from person to person – just like the capacity for singing, painting, or playing basketball.
If covens were actively searching for magicians coming into their power, they’d be overloaded.
It may feel like you’re all alone – like you’re going through something no one outside a magical order would understand. You’re not – you’re just more aware of it than most.
So if fiction sets unrealistic and unhelpful expectation, what does reality look like?
The group will appear when you go looking for them
Helena Blavatsky said “when the student is ready the teacher will appear.” I’ve never found that to be true.
When I used that quote last month someone left a comment saying I misunderstood it. I didn’t, but I did intentionally oversimplify it. Part of the comment reads:
When the student is ready in more than just knowledge, then it’s not that the teacher simply shows up, it’s that the student has the ability to recognize a true teacher.
I think that’s a good point. But there is wisdom in evaluating Blavatsky’s statement – and the expectations it generates – at face value. And at face value it generates more unhelpful expectations.
A coven is highly unlikely to come looking for you. You have to go looking for them. Some traditions say the act of searching is what proves you belong with them – “if you’re meant to be here, you’ll find us.”
The days when you had to know somebody who knows somebody to find a Pagan and/or magical group are long gone. This is the era of the internet, Google, and social media.
And the fact is that not every group is a good group. Some are manipulative, abusive, or just ineffective. That’s always been the case – the difference is that now there are more options. You don’t have to join the first one you find – or the first one who comes calling. Do some looking around and find the group that’s best for you.
Work magic to find a group
That doesn’t mean finding a coven or an order or magical group is easy. Particularly if you live in a remote area, it can be challenging – especially if you’re looking for a group in one specific tradition.
But you’re coming into your power – use some of that power to find the right group for you. Sigil magic would be ideal for this, but locator spells and summoning spells can take many forms.
Remember the Witches’ Pyramid: to know, to will, to dare, and to keep silence. And also the “fifth side” of the pyramid: acting in accord. Work your spell, then get busy with Google.
You may need more solitary work
Covens and groves aren’t for everyone. They aren’t the only way to learn and grow – and I say that as someone who ran into a wall where I knew I couldn’t go any farther without a group.
You have to deal with your own issues before you go very deep into magic, witchcraft, or Pagan religion and spirituality. I often complain about people who psychologize magic and Paganism, but there’s a good reason so many magical traditions begin with some variation of “know thyself.”
By itself, skill with magic won’t solve your problems – and it can make them worse. Develop a regular spiritual practice. Figure out who you are, what’s important to you, and where you want to go.
If you know who you are, a good group will help you become a better and truer version of yourself. If you don’t know who you are, a group will push you to become something in their image – even if they don’t mean to.
Make sure you’re really ready for a coven before you go looking for one.
Do you have context for understanding your power?
What is this power you’re coming into? Where does it come from? How much of it is you, and how much of it is other persons you’re working with and for? Perhaps most importantly, what are you supposed to do with it?
How does this all fit into the way you see the nature of the world? How do you see the nature of the world, anyway?
These are deep questions, the kind that philosophers and theologians have written volumes about. They’re not easy and they’re not as much fun as working magic, but they’re necessary to help us understand what magic is, how it works, and how we can best use it.
These questions are best explored in dialogue with others. But that doesn’t require a group. There are more books on this subject than you can read: philosophy, religion, magic, science. Pick one and get started – there are plenty of recommendations on this blog, and elsewhere.
Keep practicing!
A coven isn’t likely to come looking for you. Finding a magical order to join may take some time. Use that time wisely. Read and study.
But mainly, keep practicing.
Power is formless, shapeless, directionless. What it becomes depends on how it’s used – that takes skill. And all skills get better with practice.
Whatever power you’re coming into, this is only the beginning. A coven or other group can help you learn to use that power more effectively, but ultimately it comes down to you and what you do with it.
Blessings and good luck to you on your journey.
Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In