An Open Letter to the Atheist Hacker of Christian Mega-site Crosswalk.com

An Open Letter to the Atheist Hacker of Christian Mega-site Crosswalk.com December 31, 2007

imgresDear Finnish atheist who hacked Crosswalk.com:

Hi, there. I’m one of the writers for Crosswalk.com., the largest Christian website in the world.

Is it cold where you live? It looks like it is, since the picture you put of yourself all over Crosswalk shows you wearing a thick skull-cap and a sweatshirt. Of course (as you put on the page), you’re from Finland, so you’re definitely used to cold. So in that picture you must have been really cold.

Unless you were just trying to look menacing. So it’s not like you’re “Where’s my mittens?” cold, but … gansta cold. Ice Cube cold. That makes total sense.

Either way, Finland definitely seems like one of the most fascinating places in the world. I’ve always wanted to go there.

So apparently you possess some serious computer skills. Way to go! I personally can barely tell a computer from a microwave oven, so I admire anyone who … doesn’t try to make popcorn with their computer. But would you mind, please, not using your awesome computer skills to destroy other people’s websites? I know that, as you told us, you’re an atheist who thinks that Christianity and Christians are stupid—and I know you have plenty of good reasons to think that. But look! Even I myself have written a fair number of pretty pro-atheist postings, such as, A Letter Evangelicals Can Use to Apologize to Christians. And Crosswalk.com prominently  featured that posting, and several others of mine like it. That’s nice of them, right? That’s really tolerant of them, I thought. They’re good like that. They’re open to honest, thoughtful conversation.

I don’t know all the people who run Crosswalk, but I know their boss, the director of the site. He’s an exceptionally good man. Funny as all get out. (“As all get out,” by the way, is an American idiom meaning “to the max.” I have no idea where it came from. I don’t know where “to the max” came from, either. As I believe you know, American English is so complicated even people born and raised in America have no idea what’s going on with it.)

Anyway, Mr. Hacker Man, please believe that not all Christians are the shallow, angry, intrusive, judgemental, sanctimonious, homophobic misogynists that I know it can seem, from the outside, like we all are.

We’re not. I promise. I don’t actually know anyone like that, though I’ve no doubt they exist. But generally, if you would, please, try to bear in mind that all the good, sane, normal, thoughtful, decent, tolerant, kind Christians are in church. All the crazy one are on TV.

Some Christians are morons, some are nice, some are smart, others … try to make popcorn on their microwave. Just like any other group of people. Just like people from Finland.


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