Sad Proof I’m Still Straight

Sad Proof I’m Still Straight March 5, 2010

Dear gay friend of mine from high school who is now a pretty famous interior decorator (dude! sweet!):

Hi! It was so awesome to hear from you! I miss you.

You asked what my office looks like. Here’s a picture of it:

As you can see, I’m still straight.

God, even I’m embarrassed by those “curtains.” Please come visit me the next time you’re anywhere near San Diego. And bring some swatches, or sample curtains, or something. Anything.

And yes, I still dress about the same. And yes, that look is still totally cool no matter what you say. And yes, still, obviously, you’re a dork. I love you. Visit! Now!

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  • Well, I cleaned it up for the picture.

    I'll let my wife Cat know that one of my readers thought she ever even came close to doing anything that could in any slightest way be interpreted as cleaning my office. Then I'll come back about 20 minutes later to pick her up off the floor from all the laughing she was doing.

  • Is it Christopher Lowell? I've pretty much ruled out Bobby Trendy.

  • I'm sorry; you've lost me.

  • Your famous interior decorator friend.

  • That's a pretty fruity picture on the wall there. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

  • Mark Lattimore

    Looks great, John. Utilitarian with just a splash of color. Be proud that you can see your desk. It's been so long since I've seen mine, I can't remember if there's a desk in front of me or just a three foot pile of books and papers in the shape of a desk.

  • Dennis: You can read about the painting in the link to it provided. It's … a story.

    Yeah, cuz your work involves actual THINKING. You've read my stuff. Not exactly … research intensive.

  • textjunkie

    Wait, where are the empty coffee mugs, dirty plates and pizza boxes on the floor?

    (oh no, hang on, their absence is proof you’re still *married*… 😉

  • Carissa

    What the heck is that painting on the wall supposed to be?

  • Yep! No drapes. That pretty much cinches it.

  • Tim

    Maybe it's just my monitor, but are those walls….periwinkle? Don't count yourself completely straigh quite yet. That color may have caused the "metro-meter' to pulsate ever so slightly.

  • I'd presumed the picture was being self ironic in a colourful way. But having read the story behind it I've just one question: you paid $80 for it? I'd presumed you'd stumbled over it in a landfill or something and decided to give it a new lease on life.

    Perhaps (referring to the painting blog) you'd better hope St Peter doesn't assess artistic taste as part of the entry criteria.

  • Tim: I was wondering if anyone would say/notice that!!!

    Nathan: My, but you're being rather dickish this evening. I LIKE the painting.

  • John: as do I. I didn't say it was bad. Its terrible, but in a fantastic kinda way. I was shocked at the price…Unless the narrative outline ( was different and you knew Mahammad Ali had painted it before buying it. Then it would be worth every penny.

    I picked a similar painting off the verge yesterday (it depicts a Polynesian woman either doing her hair or fondling her breast – the artists skills exceeded his capabilities and so it is unclear). It now adornes the mantle on my fireplace. When winter settles in, and I grow boored of it, it will adore the inside of the fireplace. That's the value in buying your kitsch at the right price.

  • But I like the M.A. painting as art. It's not kitsch to me; I didn't buy it as kitsch. I actually like the aesthetics of the painting. As I said in my post about it, "It’s driven by a fresh, elemental, playful power that I find moving." I wasn't joking about that.

    Too funny.