Don’t you hate it when you go to a website or blog, expecting something interesting, and instead get some snooze-inducing report of stuff about the “author’s” personal life that you could tell you wouldn’t even care about if you were that person?
Yeah, that’s about to happen to you.
Our time, right now: 9:22 a.m.
My clothes: So wrinkled I look like a giant origami project someone gave up on.
Immediate plans:
1. Go to post office to mail out books of mine purchased by a couple of suckers geniuses.
2. Go to water place where I’ll spend fifteen minutes filling up my eight four-gallon bottles with water that I’m assuming is cleaner than the water that comes out of my tap but really have no idea but doesn’t cost very much so I guess I don’t really care even though it’s kind of a hassle.
3. Ask the Korean guy who owns the water place to translate for me into English some of the headlines of the Korean newspaper he’ll be reading. Be amazed at what Koreans think of as news. (Last time I asked him—and this was the across-the-page headline atop the second section of the paper— it was, “Teenagers: You Cannot Excel at School On Less Than Two Hours of Studying Per Night.”)
4. Go to Trader Joe’s. Buy food. Try not to stop dumbfounded in middle of store out of sheer amazement of how much food can be so easily purchased in this, the greatest country (certainly in that regard) in the world.
5. Go pick up Cat from her office, where she went in to work today.
6. Take Cat out for drink for having to work on a Saturday.
And here you thought my being a famous radio star might in any way make me interesting.
Ad-Free & Subscriber Log-In