Dear gayophobic Christian parents of America

Dear gayophobic Christian parents of America July 7, 2014


Got this in last week. I respond after it.

The day the Presbyterian Church approved same-sex marriage, I shared a link to the story on my Facebook page. I didn’t comment on it, or say “This is great!” or bad or anything.

I knew it would be unpopular among many of my fundie conservative friends. But I was surprised at the caustic, hateful, un-Christian comments. Especially from my own family.

I deleted most of the comments and asked everyone to be nice or take it to their own page. I began to get text messages from my mother and my sister: “Hey what’s your motive for all the gay posts? I’m confused. Do you think God has changed His mind? Standing up for sin will cost you. Just look at what it cost Lot.” [Wrong. See my post To quote from Sodom and Gomorrah: “So don’t be gay.”]

It even came to a point where, for my own sanity, I had to block my mom and sister on Facebook as well as on my phone. They were using social media as a weapon against me, even publicly posting requests for “saved” prayer warriors to do battle with them against Satan for me. It felt very against me.

I’m telling you all this for two reasons. 1) I am grieving and probably still need to talk/type it out. 2) I am more determined than ever to stand up for the LGBTQ community. I didn’t even come out! I just came out as gay-supportive. And look what happened.

My heart hurts for kids who are gay and have family members like mine.

I know this is something you fight for every day and I thank you for that. I am following your example. I am trying to get more involved in my community and looking for a progressive, inclusive church. I’m also searching out those in the LGBT community. I’m a wedding photographer and I want to do a photo project for same-sex couples in my area. I’m in Chattanooga, TN so no legal marriage here but I want to do all I can to support the cause.

Dear young woman who wrote me this:

Terrible about your family! So sorry you … well, didn’t get a sane family. I hear such families are out there somewhere (although that may be just a rumor).

No matter how often someone writes me about their Christian relatives coming down on them like an A-bomb for doing nothing more than showing a little support for the idea that God isn’t a gay-bashing bigot, it always astounds me. It’s like hearing about … I dunno, a priest who sprays dollops of Cheez Whiz on every communion wafer he lays on someone’s tongue. It just so insane.

And family members who deliver unto their own packages of anti-gay bigotry always wrap those packages in shiny paper purchased at Passive Aggressive. (Where the customer always needs help.)

“I’m confused. Do you think God has changed His mind?”

I’m confused, you faux-sanctimonious wasp. Do you not know what the word family means?

Anyway, sorry again about your … unfortunate gene pool. The good news is that you’ve apparently found the ladder in the deep end of that pool, and are climbing on out of that mess.

When you get to that cabana on the beach, have a Mai Tai for me!

And now a word inspired by your parents:

Dear right-wing gayophobic Christian parents of America:

Will you please stop it now with the being purposefully ignorant? Just stop being crazy right now. If you love what the Bible says, love all of that the Bible says. Learn about gay people. Learn about LGBT-affirming Christians. Learn about Christian gay people.

Just … you know: learn. Open up. Imagine the Holy Spirit really is inside of you, and really is talking to you, just like Jesus said would happen. Just like is happening with you right now.

Do you really think that’s the Holy Spirit telling you that God has a problem with people being gay?

If you listen just a little bit harder, don’t you think that voice sounds an awful lot like your voice, rather than God’s?

Come out here with us into the light. It’s nice out here. There’s more God out here. There’s more love out here.

Please stop making life so much harder than it has to be. Than it’s supposed to be.



I’m the author of UNFAIR: Christians and the LGBT Question:

unfair-cover-xsmallPaperback. Kindle. NookBook. Signed and inscribed by me according to your direction.

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