For a while now on Wednesdays I’ve been answering questions sent to me by members of a private Facebook group for Christian mothers of LGBT kids.* One such letter, which needs no additional comment by me, is immediately below. I wish it could be read by every person who believes it’s a sin to be gay.
Dear John,
As the parent of a gay teenager, navigating with my child the waters of high school, puberty and self discovery is a daily challenge. The ability to juggle all the stressors of self-worth, identity formation, and acceptance overall can at times be awfully exhausting for all of our young gay teens and their parents. This exhaustion can lead to deep frustration with the ignorance of our fellow Christian parents who believe that, by loving our children as unconditionally as they love theirs, we have compromised not only our own spiritual integrity but (and much more painfully to hear, of course) that of our children.
The simple fact is that we want to be heard, understood, and affirmed in our decision to raise our gay children into adults who possess a healthy moral compass. My own spiritual integrity is unfolding as I continuously experience our teenage boy teaching his mom and dad a few (and not always easy) lessons on grace and forgiveness.
I am just a mom who wants to say that my child is no different than yours. His joy is mine to treasure. His pain is real to me. Please encourage your readers to examine their hearts should they discover that their teenager is gay. This is not an issue of doctrine and rules. This is about unconditional love, grace, and allowing your child to know that he has a safe place to fall.
Leave the rest up to God.
P.S. Tell the church to not forget about us either.
Signed,
Just a mom raising a teenage kid who enlightens me every day
* The first such post was Combatting the Downward Pull of Christian Negativity; the second Pastor tells mom her lesbian teen can’t be a Christian; the third Challenging the evil empire of anti-gay Christians, and the resurfacing of old fundie fears; the fourth Is there a pro-LGBT equivalent to “It’s in the Bible”?; the fifth When Christian parents of a gay teen disagree on homosexuality) If you are interested in joining the Facebook group for Christian moms of gay kids (Serendipitydodah for Moms), email lizdyer55@gmail.com. If you’d like me to answer any questions/concerns you might have, email me at john@johnshore.com.
Image found at Melissa Miksch Photography
I’m the author of UNFAIR: Christians and the LGBT Question
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