Hi, John. This is in response to your post, As a Christian, Must She Forgive the Brother Who Raped Her? I just want to say thank you—from me, for that lady, and from every single other person out here like us.
I want to know if you think that the woman who wrote that letter is right about it having been God who saved her.
I had an experience similar to hers, with God being with me and talking to me while I was being abused. And I know that most people think that is crazy. But I still believe that God was there with me during the terrible times, and that that is the only reason I am alive today.
It meant a great deal to me to hear other people say that God was also with them during such trauma in their lives. It makes me feel less insane. Why not believe God was there? It’s not hurting anybody. What did hurt me was the abuse that I suffered—first as a child, and then later at the hands of the man I married (who almost killed me).
Every day I have to deal with what they did to me. Why not also believe that God cares about me?
While I was being abused I could not handle what was happening to me, but God could. And God helped me escape what was happening to me by convincing me that I didn’t deserve it. There is no way that could have been a product of my fragile four-year-old mind. Even now, I believe that God is the only thing convincing me to hang in there every day.
Anyway, I was just wondering what you thought about God being real and helping me the way I think he did and is still. Thanks again.
In a nutshell, who cares what I believe? You believe that God saved you then, and is still saving you today. That, my dear friend, is virtually all that does, can, or should matter. The only two persons in the world privileged to know what’s going on between you and God are you and God. That relationship is exclusive, closed, two-way, and inviolately private. Ain’t nobody’s business but yours and his/hers.
That said, no, I do not think you’re crazy. I absolutely do believe it was God who delivered you from your moments of ultimate terror, grief, and shame—and who is every day now guiding you toward an ever brighter and fuller life.
Given your experience, I think it would be insane for you not to believe that. What more could God have done to prove to you that he was there and protecting you? The only more “real” way God could have saved you would have been to actually, physically manifest before you. And that would have opened a can of crazy you do not want in your life. (Because then—to mention just one reason God did you a favor by not physically appearing before you—you’d have to either spend your life trying to convince people that you really had seen God, or—by way of avoiding, or at least staying out of, the insane asylum—you’d have to live with the crazy-making secret that you did see God.)
God was there for you: he/she gave you that gift. Why question the origin, value, or reality of that gift? Where does going down that road take you?
Stay on the road you’re on: the one God is every day laying out before you. Going on that journey, one day at a time, is … well, let’s just say not a bad way to spend your life.
Life is ridiculously complicated and intense. God is waiting to bring to any of us the ultimate miracle: making life simple. All we have to do is accept that, get out of the way, and let it happen.
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