It’s So Much Simpler Than We Make It Out to Be

I’ve always been known for hearing a teaching and being able to spew it all right back out.

How much I’ve retained?

Who knows.

But, I do get excited about the new info.

Quick to listen.

Quick to speak.

I’m learning, though.

To let it simmer.

Test it for myself.

Run it by my own heart.

Run it through my own brain for a minute.

Is it true?

Is it lovely?

Kind or loving?

I have a flare for the dramatic.

So when John Piper says “America, GET ON YOUR FACE… your Tsunami is coming”?

Or when Francis Chan tells his whole church that most of them are lukewarm and going to Hell?

Well now, this is fun to regurgitate.

Maybe not fun.

Maybe just really important.

When pastors tell me I am totally depraved and cannot trust my own heart?

Well then, OK.

Don’t think for yourself, Karen.

Just trust the pastor’s heart because he is “anointed”.

Wait.a.gosh.darn.minute.

I should trust him?

Why?

Because God set it up this way?

We submit to him and any other man he has picked to help him lead.

And?

I did.

Until I couldn’t anymore.

The burdens being put on my back were too heavy.

The load was too much to bear.

Maybe this is why I went and told everyone else.

Hoping to unload some of the stuff on someone else.

The lens I was looking through just wasn’t working.

Always judging this life through another person’s “God Lens”.

Never believing I was ok to have my own “God Lens”.

My faith was not that of a child’s.

No simple faith here.

It was complex.

And based on whatever scholar I happened to be following at the moment.

Whichever scholar my pastor told me to read.

“Don’t read A.W. Tozer. He’s pop culture”.

“Stay away from Rob Bell. He’s a heretic”.

And the list of who I couldn’t read became longer and longer.

I remember when I first started to break out of this insanity.

It started with me reading “Blue Like Jazz”.

Oops.

Don’t tell anyone.

And then?

I’m not even kidding…

Kevin and I went to see the movie in a theater,

Under the cover of darkness.

Sneaking out at age 42 like we did when we were teenagers.

It was actually fun.

Rebelling against who?

I’m not even sure.

But, I do know it was a gateway for us.

Before you knew it, we were sneaking off to see Rob Bell in Indy.

The more I read outside the lines?

The more I realized how broken it all was inside the lines.

How damaging it was to my soul.

Hear me…

I did not just go from one group of gurus to another.

The books I read and the podcasts I listen to now?

They are actually teaching me to think for myself.

Listen to the Spirit inside of me.

They aren’t trying to “scare the hell out of me”.

Nope.

They are simply pointing me to the Truth of Christ in me.

Helping me see there is good in me.

And good in you.

My job isn’t to walk around warning everyone about the doom that is hovering.

My job is to look right into your eyes,

And let you know how loved you are,

Right where you are.

Christ in me, seeing the Christ in you.

I am no guru.

Neither are you.

And I know now, there is no need for either of us to be one.

It’s so much simpler than all of that.

Crazy thing is?

It takes a lifetime to realize it. 

Karen R Shock resides in Fort Wayne, IN with her husband and their youngest son. She had three more children who are married and four beautiful grandchildren. Oh, and a dog name JT Barrett (Go Bucks). She is a retired homeschool mom and is now a high school teacher and cheer coach. Life is hard, but fun. Learning to lean into the mess, find rest in today, and maybe even make some new friends along the way.