My homosexual agenda for 2015

Here we are nearly at the end of January and I am finally getting around to setting my lesbionic goals for the new year. What with trying to wreck all the marriages and destroy all the civilizations I’ve been a scosh busy. Now that I’ve caught my breath from all  my wanton debauchery I’ve had a chance to write down a few really gay things I plan to do this year. Content advisory: the word sex appears once. Oh wait, now twice. Does that make it NSFW?

I will start each and every day with prayers of help, thanks and wow.

I will tell my children how much I love them.

I will step out into the world with hope and joy.

I will show up everywhere with my whole self.

I will get my a$$ to church more often.

I will get my hands dirty in service to others.

I will learn new things about myself, others and the world.

I will think, breathe and think again before speaking.

I will listen actively.

I will apologize when I am careless.

I will say “I don’t know” when it is true.

I will take more…pictures.

I will give more…money.

I will read…differently.

I will write…thoughtfully.

I will work…harder.

I will ask for help when I need it.

I will eat healthy food when I am hungry.

I will break bread, drink wine and remember.

I will go outside and play whenever I can.

I will rest gently when I am tired.

I will enjoy good sex.

I will laugh heartily.

I will cry deeply.

I will kindly ask the board room in my head to shut the F**K up.

I will stop leaving bread crumbs to find my way back and trust that the place I am going is good.*

I will put one foot in front of the other without fear.

I will forgive myself for the past.

I will let myself receive love.

I will tell my children how much I love them.

I will read this list one more time.

I will end each day with prayers of wow, thanks and help.

*Paraphrased pearl of wisdom from my FB friend, Carol Curry.