Love is an Orientation
Before I get any further into this series, I think I should define what I understand as an enemy, hater and critic.
Enemy: The dictionary defines an enemy as one that is antagonistic to another. I actually don’t see that definition suitable for what I believe is an enemy. The dictionary definition of an enemy actually sounds more like what I would call an annoyance. I, however, define enemy in these three ways:
A person, group or entity that is intentionally committed to opposing you, no matter what the circumstances.
A person, group or entity whose sole goal is to win by beating you to a loss.
A person, group or entity that uses violence against you.
Hater: According to the Hip Hoptionary, a hater is: A jealous person, or, one that cannot be happy for another person’s success to the point of only picking out perceived flaws. I like that definition as I think is quantifies a hater well. However the problem is that another person’s motives are impossible to judge (e.g. ‘jealous person’). They are speculation at best. Therefore here are my definitions of a hater:
A person, group or entity that is only ever negative about you, regardless of how many times you have either reached out or tried to more thoroughly explain yourself.
A person, group or entity whose intentions are not sustainable peaceful engagement, but rather quick bandwagon insults that are thrown as they turn and run away.
A person, group or entity that uses lies, name calling, exaggerations, insults, etc to either ‘expose’ you or launch a grenade hoping you will blow up. Haters are also known to drag in your family, friends or others you know who are not directly involved, as either pawns, or targets of their hatred.
Critic: The dictionary definition is: One who forms and expresses judgments on the merits, faults, value or truth of a matter. That about sums it up. Though I do believe there are two types of critics under this definition—constructive critic and obstructive critic.
A constructive critic is one that engages with you forthrightly (e.g. seeks out your responses in dialogue before going public), allowing you to be a part of the discernment process, before a public judging of the merits, faults, value or truth in a matter. The outcome is secondary in this situation.
An obstructive critic is one that publicly creates their own judgment on the merits, faults, value or truth of a matter first, and then retrospectively ‘attempts’ to include you after-the-fact. The outcome (judgment) is paramount in this situation as it sets and dictates the tone for the relationship there onward.
These are my working definitions for Enemy, Hater and Critic.
What are yours?
Much love.
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