You always sound so angry!

From time to time I get a comment like this:

Libby Anne,

Why in all of your posts are you so angry. Not outright anger, just an undertone of anger. Its really unbecoming. We all love you and Jesus loves you too. You should repent and let his grace and love cover you or you might end up turning only more bitter and angry as you age . . . . and we all have experienced those people. 😉

In Christ,

Kevin

Sometimes I wonder if people like Kevin have actually read the Bible they claim to be following. Jesus got angry—a lot. Sometimes getting angry is the only right thing to do! There are things in this world that should make us all very angry indeed.

I do have to say though, I think Kevin’s comment shows that it is impossible to blog on the topics I do and not be accused of being angry. I work very hard, here on my blog, to use outrage moments to teach, discuss, and push narratives forward. I try to keep a level tone—it’s my style—and to write with as much compassion and understanding as I can muster. I’ve even had people leave comments or send me emails telling me that they can see my underlying love for my parents even as I write difficult posts. If I can write like this and still be told I need to repent of my anger suggests that there is no way to write on these subjects, ever, without being accused of being “angry.”

And there is good reason to be angry! When I hear Christians defending the Duggar’s failure to properly handle their son’s sexual abuse, I get angry. When I see people advocating marrying young teenage girls to significantly older men, I get angry. When I am told that I am failing my parents or the “movement” by not homeschooling my children, I get angry. And when I get angry, I often blog. This doesn’t mean every angry post is only angry, or that all of my posts are angry. Frankly, anger can sometimes be exhausting, and I sometimes need a break. And honestly, we can’t stop at anger—anger should lead us to action.

Kevin may need to step back for a moment and consider that maybe he senses an “undertone of anger” because my blog is primarily a place for deconstructing the damage done by religious patriarchy, very real damage with very real victims. How am I to write about these things without being upset? How am I to write about religious leaders who sexually abuse young teenage girls in their care, or parents who believe they must beat their children until their wills are “broken,” without being angry?

Also, is it just me, or does Kevin’s stating that my anger is “really unbecoming” have gendered undertones? It’s frustrating that someone like Kevin thinks it his place to chide me for being “unbecoming.” Look, I care more exposing toxic rhetoric and ideas than I do about being attractive or behaving “appropriately.” Kevin’s comment is an example of how respectability politics can be wielded against efforts to overturn power structures and elevate the weak. (Hmm, I wonder what Jesus would have said about that?)

And don’t even get me started on Kevin’s suggestion that I am “bitter.” Righteous anger that leads to action through word or deed is not the same thing as bitterness. In fact, Christians like Kevin have so dominated the use of the word “bitter,” using it to punish those who would like to see justice done and to put a lid on those calling for change, that I’m not sure the word is redeemable. Accusations of bitterness have become just one more tool to control and to preserve traditional patriarchal structures of power.

We’re at the point, those of us calling out spiritual abuse and toxic structures of power within the church, where being accused of being “angry” and “bitter” has become something of a right of passage. And you know what? So be it. Viva la revolución!