Anonymous Tip: The Name Is Bond, James Bond

A Review Series of Anonymous Tip, by Michael Farris

Pp. 247-255

As you may remember, Peter just got the judge’s permission to have the CPS computers examined (by his friend Aaron) to determine whether the files on the Landis case (especially the initial intake report) had been altered in any way.

Lila was back to being a redhead when Randall McGuire arrived at the Ram’s Head Tavern Thursday evening.

The Ram’s Head is the establishment where Blackburn, the CPS director, does his illicit dealings with McGuire, the crooked psychologist. Lila is the supposedly slutty waitress who may actually be the most likable character in this book. When Blackburn arrives, he goes straight to McGuire’s table in the corner.

“I want you to know,” McGuire said, “this is the last time I am ever coming to one of these meetings or working on one of your ‘special’ cases. So state your business and be quick about it.”

“You have stated my sentiments exactly. This is our last case together. So state your business and be quick about it.

It’s unclear why McGuire has ever cooperated in these shady dealings with Blackburn. Yes, Blackburn gives him money, but not that much compared to what McGuire is risking—his entire career—for altering his psychological analyses for these cases. We know that McGuire is a father, that that he doesn’t believe in spanking, and that he has no shortage of clients and is very well respected in his field, but that’s about it—and none of that sheds any light on his willingness to take envelopes of money from Blackburn at the Ram’s Head Tavern.

Blackburn tells McGuire that Peter got the court order them to give a computer expert access to their computer. McGuire objects, saying he’s sure Blackburn has doctored the files just so so that nothing will appear amiss, and Blackburn responds that Peter’s computer expert (Aaron) says he can determine whether files have been changed.

“You’ve got to be kidding. Did you have anything in the Landis file about our arrangement?” McGuire asked in a panic.

“Of course I did,” Blackburn lied.

“Oh, no! No!” McGuire leaned back in the booth and closed his eyes, shaking his head. “A lousy two thousand bucks! A lousy two thousand bucks may cost me my career,” he moaned.

“More like fifteen thousand bucks. That is how much we have paid you from our special account over the last four years.”

“Whatever. The amount is not important. In any event, it’s not that much money compared to the risk.”

Now McGuire is realizing this. Why didn’t he realize this before, exactly? Surely he had to know that there was risk of being found out. They aren’t exactly meeting in private, after all.

Blackburn tells McGuire that he has a plan to fix this problem, but that it’s going to cost McGuire fifteen thousand dollars. McGuire objects, asking how Blackburn can possibly fix this situation.

“He can only decipher a computer disk if the disk and the computer still exist. Dynamite has been proven to be very effective in scrambling a computer disk so that it is unreadable, no matter how smart your computer expert may be.”

“You are going to blow up your own computer? Won’t they figure that out and come back and get you?”

“I don’t plan to be around for anyone to find me,” Blackburn replied. “I’m leaving the country—this weekend. And I am going to need a little traveling money. The way I figure it, I can leave without taking care of the compute rand you will be found out. Or before I leave I can, shall we say, erase our records and you will not be discovered. The only difference between these two scenarios is a fee that is—as you’ve already said—not that much money. I want you here Saturday night at 11:00 p.m. with $15,000 in cash.”

McGuire agrees, presumably feeling he has no choice, and then tells Blackburn to “get out of here and leave me alone.” Blackburn leaves, winking at Lila as he does so. This scene closes, and as the next opens we learn that Blackburn has blackmailed Donna and Rita for $2,500 each. Donna only has $1,500 on hand and has to take the rest as a cash advance on her Visa card. Farris tells us Donna had spent the night “pacing, watching television, and crying” while Stephen slept, too distracted by the bar exam to ask Donna what was wrong.

Farris tells us Donna would spend Friday afternoon packing her things into a suitcase.

Blackburn told her the explosion would be confined to the computer room, but Corliss was unsure if the building would be standing on Monday.

But first Donna had to meet with Blackburn at 11:00 Friday morning. When she arrives, she notices that Blackburn seems weirdly happy and that he’s not using his worry balls. Apparently Blackburn is pleased to be leaving the country with $20,000 in cash, never to return to his given profession. That’s . . . weird.

“I am certain the folks in Olympia will elevate you to my spot and you’ll make back this insignificant little amount in less than six months with he raise you’ll get.”

“I’m not sure I’ll have a job after Monday,” Corliss replied.

“Oh, nonsense. This is going to look like a little electrical explosion in the computer room. My friendly explosives expert assures me no one will suspect a thing. I might even be able to come back some day. I’ll just claim I had a stress attack and couldn’t handle things for a while. But all those nasty computer records will e gone for good.”

I’m with Donna on this one. This is way too convenient for anyone to think it’s an accident. Also, Blackburn has an explosives expert? Say what? Anyway, Donna gives Blackburn a stack of hundred dollar bills and grumbles as she does so.

“Let’s not get ugly, Donna. Just be a good girl and run along.”

Good god, is everyone in this book sexist?

I’m tempted to stop here, but this is like watching a train wreck happening, and we’re going to keep going because I can’t look away.

Randall McGuire had met Eddie Hodder three years earlier. Hodder had been on trial for the rape and murder of a seventeen-year-old girl. His lawyer raised the defense of insanity—claiming it was a Vietnam War flashback that had caused him to commit the acts.

McGuire had done the evaluation. Hodder’ father, a wealthy businessman, made sure that McGuire was not well-paid.

Not to beleaguer the point, Hodder was sentenced to two years in a mental institution and was now out and McGuire has come up with the idea to use Hodder as a hitman. After all, Farris tells us McGuire “knew that nothing was wrong with Hodder other than a very mean streak and a flashpoint temper.” And Hodder was indebted to McGuire, so . . . what the fuck is McGuire thinking. The man was mourning having jeopardized his career over $15,000 just a minute ago! God god.

So McGuire calls up Hodder and then meets him in the park. The two pretend to be jogging together as they talk.

“I’ve got a special job for you,” McGuire said, looking straight ahead.

“It figures,” Hodder replied.

“I want you to get my money back from someone, that’s all.”

“Explain what you mean.”

McGuire tells Hodder that he’s been blackmailed and that he has to hand over money to the man blackmailing him at 11:00 p.m. that night. “All I want from you is to pose as an armed robber and relieve him of my fifteen grand,” McGuire says, explaining that Blackburn won’t be able to call the police about it. McGuire says he’ll give Hodder a third of it. Now, I have a question. If Hodder’s dad is as loaded as we’re told he is, why would Hodder need to take this risk, even for the payout of $5,000? Nevertheless, Hodder agrees, calling it “too easy” but not otherwise objecting. McGuire tells Hodder to come to the drop-off point and then follow Blackburn as he leaves.

Did I tell you this was going to go full James Bond or did I tell you?

We really should stop here but at this point I can’t look away.

Blackburn cleans out all of his savings and ones up with $18,000. So he’ll have $38,000 total. That’s no small sum, but that’s not a whole lot to leave the country and live on indefinitely, especially when it’s not like he’ll be able to take a job in his regular line of work while there. Farris, however, says it “would be enough for a reasonably good start in Canada, especially with the favorable exchange rate.” You know, it’s true that this book was published twenty years ago. This would have been more money in 1996 than in 2016. I’m still not clear on what “get established” means though.

Farris tells us Blackburn got “a thorough portfolio of fake identification” and that he’s decided to go to Toronto. His plan is to take a rental car and then abandon it and take a train. This is, apparently, “a magnificent plan.”

Hodder arrived at the Ram’s Head at ten. He downed two beers and made a date to meet Lila when she got off work at one.

It’s fairly clear Lila is nothing more than a plot device here, but I’m suddenly concerned for her, given that Hodder raped and murdered a teenage girl several years prior to this. Just before eleven, Hodder goes outside and waits in his truck. McGuire turns into the parking lot just before 11:00 and waits in his car. Blackburn turns in several minutes later and McGuire gives him the money. Hodder follows Blackburn’s car as he leaves the parking lot.

Hodder had figured out an “improvement” on McGuire’s plan during the afternoon. Why should he settle for five grand when he could get fifteen? What would McGuire do? Tell the cops that he had asked Hodder to do an armed robbery? There seemed no reason to give any of the money back to McGuire.

I’ve lost track of exactly who is double crossing who we’ve gotten so deep.

Blackburn parks in the parking lot at his office and gets a gym bag after his trunk. McGuire had told Hodder that if Blackburn drove to his office he should let him go in first—to set off the bomb, presumedly—and then rob him on his way out, but Hodder decides that must not be important.

Hodder pulled the pistol out of his pocked and quickly paced to a point about two feet behind Blackburn.

“Freeze, sucker,” he growled.

Blackburn jerked involuntarily—but his fingers clutched the bag tightly.

“I want that bag—now!” Hodder said.

“No, you don’t. Not this back.” Blackburn gasped, his arms shaking with fear.

“Yes, I do, plus, I want the package you got from my buddy McGuire back at the tavern.”

Blackburn’s blood ran cold. “McGuire? McGuire? Did he put you up to this?”

Here’s a question—are there any competent criminals in this book?

Anyway, Blackburn gets “the green travel bag which contains all his money” out of the front seat but tells Hodder that he really does need to take the other bag into his office, and that it’s important for McGuire that he do so. Hodder doesn’t care, and demands both bags. Blackburn gives up the money bag but makes a grab for the bomb bag, and Hodder shoots Blackburn in the chest, grabs both bags, and jumps in his truck, driving quickly away.

Twenty minutes later he was on the Nine Mile Falls Highway and headed away from the city. He pulled off the highway, onto a deserted side road. There was nothing in sight.

“All right, let’s see what we got for our efforts,” Hodder said aloud, his heart beating furiously.

Hodder discovers that there’s more than $15,000 in the green travel bag. He assumes the other bag is full of the same, and opes it to check.

His hand felt some wires. “What the—” he said, quickly pulling his hand back. It was his last move.

The explosion woke people and pets for a two-mile radius. The truck, the money, and the man were eliminated in a spectacular instantaneous fireball.

Hodder had a record as a certified crazy man. The Spokane County Sheriff’s Department wasn’t terribly intrigued with the fact that he had managed to blow himself up. Gerald Blackburn appeared to the Spokane City Police Department to be nothing more than an unfortunate victim of a random and unsolved robbery. The two deaths were never connected by the two sister police agencies.

So, um, that’s actually the end of a chapter. Really.

Tune in next week to learn what happens to the case after this . . . exciting interlude? Actually, I think I do need to say something more, first. this book is ostensibly a warning story about the corruption of CPS and the problems stemming from its practices. Remember that the book’s reviewers called it “hugely relevant to our time” and “as up-to-date as today’s headlines” and “underscoring . . . the self-serving and ethical pragmatism of the child abuse industry.” Remember that the book’s blurb states that “the most shocking part of it all is, it really could happen to anyone!” But the book itself doesn’t even attempt to paint a picture of ordinary and every-day ways CPS can go astray and violate the rights of both parents and children, preferring instead to tell a story of James Bond level intrigue that loses all sense of realism completely.

And perhaps that, more than anything else here, is what’s so fascinating about it.

But hey, at least now we don’t have to worry about Lila’s date with Hodder?