Mothers & Daughters: Crime And Punishment

CRIME AND PUNISHMENT

Spring 1842

Helena Andreevna, Antonia, and Elizaveta went to the shops, leaving the Hahn children with the Shemiots to play different games. Lelya decided to dress up and made herself a mask with a beard and put on the old lady Shemiot’s hood. Eulalia dressed Vera up in her nephew’s shirt and overcoat.

“I would really like to stay like this forever,” declared Vera, looking in the mirror.

Everyone found that Vera was a great boy, and Eulalia and Evgenia decided not to undress her until the grownups returned from the shops.

“No!” said Lelya, “Let’s meet them on the street halfway without undressing Vera. Oh! How fun it will be! Mamochka will never recognize her! Please, please, let’s go, my darlings!”

“What?” said Evgenia. “Well, perhaps…Let’s go!”

“So long as your mother doesn’t get angry,” said Eulalia, exchanging a hesitant glance with Evgenia.

“Why would Mama get angry?” Lelya objected smartly. “She will laugh that Verochka has become such a nice boy.”

“What about Antonia,” asked Vera, fearfully, involuntarily remembering the lectures about decency and reproaches about her immodest behavior. “What will Antonia say?”

“Eh,” said Lelya. “What about Antonia? She won’t say anything at all! What’s wrong with little girls making a joke?”

“Perhaps it’s indecent,” Vera said importantly.

Everyone laughed at the fact that she was “definitely a big girl,” kissed her, and took her with them. At first, Vera was very embarrassed to walk through the streets dressed as a boy. It seemed to her that everyone was staring at her, and everyone would recognize her. Little by little Vera cheered up, and when they arrived at the boulevard, where there were many people and a whole crowd of children, Vera knew her ruse was a success. She got so excited that she completely forgot about her costume, and Evgenia even had to ask me not to get “into character” so well with the “naughty boys.” Eulalia and Lelya went alone to look for Helena Andreevna and Antonia in the shops of the Palais Royal because Vera did not want to interrupt her game. Suddenly, one of the boys pulled off her hat and ran. Vera, of course, followed him, with the full intention of catching up and thoroughly finishing off her enemy. The boy was older than her and ran faster. Sometimes he stopped to tease her and again raced off with her hat. Vera would never have caught up with him if some gentleman she met, probably wanting to serve her as the lesser and the offended, had not detained him.

Out of breath, disheveled, and all covered in damp sand, because she had fallen while running, Vera ran to the boy floundering in the arms of the master, with her hand resolutely raised, preparing to hit him with all her might, when suddenly exclamations were heard above her.

“Lord, have mercy! What is this? is Verochka!”

“Verochka? What? Where?”

Vera was petrified. Her hands dropped, and all red from fatigue, anger, and shame, she did not dare look at her mother and Antonia who were now standing in front of her.

They didn’t see Lelya, Evgenia, or Eulalia, and, not knowing the preface to the scene, they could not fathom why Vera should be on the boulevard dressed as a boy.

Vera’s offender, taking advantage of the general confusion and surprise of the gentleman who stood up for the “brawler boy” who suddenly turned out to be a young lady, broke out of the gentleman’s hands, threw Vera’s hat to the ground, and ran away. Vera stood silently, looking with confusion for her accomplices, who were nowhere to be seen. Finally, both Antonia and Helena Andreevna quickly came up to Vera. Looking closely, still not believing her eyes, questions rained down on Vera like hail.

“Where are you coming from? What is the meaning of this? Why are you dressed like that? Who did you come here with?”

“I…with Evgenia…with Eulalia and Lelya…” Vera answered, barely audible, barely holding back tears.

“Where are they? Why did they dress you up like a boy?”

“And they brought you here!” Antonia interrupted Helena Andreevna angrily. “They brought you here! To the boulevard! They left you alone! And you’re fighting here?!”

“Leave her!” Helena Andreevna quietly told her and, taking Vera by the hand, told her to put on her hat and, barely holding back a smile, took her aside from the audience surrounding them. A little encouraged, Vera told everything in sequence and led them to the far bench where Evgenia Shemiot was resting. While they walked, Helena Andreevna laughed and persuaded Antonia not to be angry. Despite Helena Andreevna’s requests, Antonia strongly scolded both sisters.

“Ah well! perhaps it is best that I am dying,” said Helena Andreevna, “At least I shall be spared seeing what befalls Lelya! Of one thing I am certain, her life will not be as that of other women—she will have much to suffer.”[1]

Ashamed as Vera was, there was another “great sin” of hers that was much worse than this prank. Once they went for a walk, Lelya and Vera were with Miss Jeffers. She needed a lock, so she led them into a small iron shop. While she was choosing a lock, Lelya and Vera stopped at the door, where boxes were placed, and nails, rings of various sizes, and various metal small things were poured into them. Between them, they saw some sharp hooks with two ends, which seemed so strange to Vera.

“What are these for?”

“These here are fish hooks,” said Lelya, “what you use to catch fish.”

“From the sea?”

“From the sea, from the rivers—from everywhere. So, when our people arrive here from Saratov, Baba Lena and I will go to Polyakovka, that nearby village where they have a house.[2] Remember what Mamochka told me? There is a pond where there are many crucian carp. We will also catch them with such fishing rods.”

“How can they be so short?”

“Well, they are tied to a long cord, and the lace is tied to a long, very long rod. Then they put bait on the hook—a piece of beef, a fly, or a worm, and throw the hook as far from the shore as possible. Here the fish envies the prey on the water, but it cannot see the person. They will swim up, grab onto it, and the stupid fish will get caught! No, they won’t get away from this hook! Do you see how it works?”

Lelya showed Vera the structure of the fishing rod and walked away. Vera began to dream about how nice it would be if she had such a fishing rod. She would catch fish with it too! You can always find a string and a rod, but one can’t make a fishing rod like this themselves

“Lelya! How much do you think a fishing rod like this costs?”

“Oh, some nonsense! I think two or three of them cost a penny.”

“Don’t you have a penny?”

“No! What do you need a penny for?” she said, walking away. “We’re not going to the village yet.”

“Isn’t it possible to fish here in the sea?” Vera thought. “It must be nice to catch a fish! I would be so glad! Oh! A fishing rod fell…it’s lying on the floor. So, I can pick it up? It doesn’t matter that I found it…it would still get lost, it’s so small. It will probably fall into the gap and disappear! It will definitely, definitely, disappear. Just push it a little with your foot—and it’s gone! I’d better pick it up. There’s such a mountain of them here! Why does the merchant need this one little fishing rod anyway?”

“Come, little one! Let’s go home!” said Miss Jeffers. “What were you looking at there? Come on, children, it’s time.”

“Now!” Vera thought, bending over. “I’ll just straighten my shoe.”

She bent down to the floor, straightened her shoes (which did not need straightening at all,) grabbed a hook from the floor, and squeezing it in her hand, ran after Lelya and Miss Jeffers.

“Why are you so red?” asked Lelya, surprised.

“I don’t know,” lied Vera. “I feel hot!”

As soon as they arrived home, Vera, having completely forgotten that thieves should be careful, gave herself away completely. Daydreaming about how she was going to fish, she immediately rushed to work to get a long rod, a rope, and most importantly, someone who would arrange this tool for her for the future catch of sea fish.

“I must ask Aksentiy!” Vera thought. “He’s a cook! He should probably be able to make fishing rods!”

She wanted to immediately run to the kitchen, but unfortunately for her, Antonia saw her.

“Vera! Où courez vous ainsi?[3] Where are you running in a hat, completely dressed?”

“To the kitchen!” she answered cheerfully, accustomed to always telling the truth.

“Why? What should you do in the kitchen?!”

Vera was at a dead end, realizing that she had been foolish. Lelya was right there, and Miss Jeffers, who was in the next room, came into their room at the very moment that Vera, confused and blushing terribly, was explaining her intention to Antonia. Lelya looked at Vera, smiling and shaking her head reproachfully.

“A fishing rod? What do you need a fishing rod for?” said Antonia. “And where did you get this hook? Show me! They can hurt you terribly! Who gave this to you?”

“Nobody gave…I…I…”

“How can anyone!? Where did you get it?”

Miss Jeffers approached and suspiciously squinted her eyes at the fishing rod, which Antonia was examining. “What’s that?” she asked.

“This is the fishing rod that Vera brought from the shops,” Lelya answered, in English, smiling.

“And the fishhook?” she drawled. “Where did she get the fishing rod from?”

“I don’t know! There were a lot of them there in the shop.”

“What are you saying, Lelya?” Antonia turned to her, not understanding.

Vera suddenly got angry, expecting that Lelya would tell Antonia where she got the hook from, so she hastened to say that she picked it up and found it on the ground.

“On the ground?” Antonia asked sternly. “You mean on the street?”

“No!” Vera whispered, barely audible. “In the shop!”

“Oh! For shame!” Miss Jeffers cried. “Tell me, Miss Lelya, tell me that there were such hooks for sale in the shop and that this wretched little thing just stole it!”

At this word, which for the first time directly stated what Vera had really done, she burst into tears, throwing herself face down into the lap of Antonia. She knew what a terrible sin and shame theft was, and now she was sincerely convinced that she was lost! Antonia did not console her. On the contrary, she shamed her very strictly and severely, and to forever imprint in her memory repentance for her shameful act, decided that Vera would immediately return it to the store, give the ill-fated fishing rod to the merchant herself, and apologize for her theft. Vera would never forget the mockingly pitiful smile with which the old Jewish man, a seller of iron products, looked at her while she explained her “incident” to him.

“I don’t know how it happened,” said Vera. “I raised the fishing rod and it…probably got caught on my sleeve!”

“Oh, no! Oh no! It wasn’t so!” interrupted the merciless Miss Jeffers, realizing Vera’s cunning. She resolutely refuted Vera’s testimony. “It wasn’t like that! Don’t lie, Miss Vera! This is even more shameful! Stealing and then lying! Ay-ay! What a shame!”

The epilogue of her crime was for a long time the most terrible memory of her childhood! On the other hand, it forever rooted out from her the slightest inclination to encroach on someone else’s property.[4]

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SOURCES:

[1] Zhelihovskaya, Vera Petrovna. “Helena Petrovna Blavatsky: Pt. I.” Lucifer. Vol. XV, No. 87 (November 15, 1894): 202-208; From a draft of Chapter II in Vera Petrovna Zhelihovskaya’s “Radda Bai.” (1892) [Bakhmut Roerich Society.]

[2] Fadeyev, Andrei Mikhailovich. Vospominaniia: 1790-1867. Vysochaishe Utverzhd. Yuzhno-Russkago. Odessa, Ukraine. [Russian Empire.] (1897): Part I: 110.

[3] [Fr. “Where are you running like this?”]

[4] Zhelihovskaya, Vera Petrovna. How I Was Little. A. F. Devrien. St. Petersburg, Russia. (1898): 252-262.