Here is a genuine Not the Onion piece of catechesis for the Truly True Righteous MAGA Catholic:
Don’t forget to check out the awesome hagiographical picture at the top.
Scripture tells us that antichrist is not some huge green ragemonster spewing pea soup. In fact, it tells us that antichrists are a dime a dozen:
Children, it is the last hour;** and as you have heard that antichrist is coming, so now many antichrists have come. (1 Jn 2:18).
The Catechism tells us the method of antichrist: promise you heaven on earth at the price of embracing lies:
The persecution that accompanies [the Church’s] pilgrimage on earth will unveil the “mystery of iniquity” in the form of a religious deception offering men an apparent solution to their problems at the price of apostasy from the truth. (CCC 675)
So when I watch the incredible spectacle of the Greatest Catholics of All Time in open warfare with the successor of Peter who has been promised that the gates of Hell shall not prevail against him, all while declaring the impeachment of a visible-from-space con man to be “the impeachment of Christ”, I am simply gobsmacked by the delusion. Trump’s entire tenure has been a ceaseless torrent of lies, and every one of them has been either approved with silent consent, or enthusiastically embraced and repeated by Christians who look your right in the eye and mouth obscene lies about being disciples of Jesus who is the Truth.
The blindness and idolatry of the Cult will baffle our children and grandchildren, who are being driven from the Church in droves by this blaspheming sect of weirdos who have lied themselves into believing that he who opposes this Mob Boss opposes God Almighty. I hope someday the people fleeing this spectacle realize Jesus had nothing to do with this Freak Show.
Meanwhile, all that is really happening–all that has ever been happening with the MAGA cult–is a purely one-way transaction: their souls in exchange for nothing. What happens at the March for Life in DC is this:
Trump offers them Nine Rings of Power, which they eagerly accept. He then talks for a while about himself and complains about impeachment and free-associates more about himself before closing out with some thoughts about himself and maybe a nod to “your abortion thing or whatever”.
He then leads a procession of swooning MAGA “prolife” Christians to the top of Capitol Hill, shows them all the kingdoms of the earth and declares, “All this will I give you if you bow down and worship me!”
The crowd responds with one voice: “We have no king but Trump!” and offers a kidnapped refugee baby as human sacrifice to the glory of his name.Satisfied that he now owns them body and soul, Trump then retires to the White House to watch porn on cable and rage tweet about impeachment for the rest of the day. Next week, his schedule will include raising Planned Parenthood funding another 8%.
The crowd departs, floating on clouds of imaginary power, assured of peace and safety and full of prayers for the lost souls of the Unrighteous, such as George Will, whose tenuous faith, like the faith of many shaky believers, was killed by the spectacle of MAGA Christians.
Those Righteous Christians denouncing scandalized people driven in horror from the Church by the moral stench of MAGA Christianity will not conceive for one second that the scandal they have given Will and millions like him could possibly have anything to do with their abandonment of theism. For them, is is the people they have horrified, not Trump, who are the enemies of God.
As one combox inquisitor put it:
I now understand the basis of George Will’s claim of moral, intellectual, and spiritual superiority over the rest of us. He knows, as we do not, that there is no God, and that is what gives him and his peers the right to rule over us. He is a fool. They are fools.
Or Will was somebody searching for God and all you and your miserable idolatrous Cult presented to him 24/7 was the worship of your true god, Donald Trump.
And he said to his disciples, “Temptations to sin are sure to come; but woe to him by whom they come! It would be better for him if a millstone were hung round his neck and he were cast into the sea, than that he should cause one of these little ones to sin. (Lk 17:1–2).
Don’t be so certain that your smug bunch of Pharisees is going to be safe at the Pearly Gates as you thank God that you are not sinners like this atheist Will here.
The MAGA “prolife” heresy has definitively chosen to seek first the Kingdom of Trump. It shall have its reward and the inscription on the epitaph of the Francis-hating (and Church-hating) sect of Trump-adorers will be this:
To get a man’s soul and give him nothing in return–that is what truly gladdens the heart of our Father below. – Uncle Screwtape