April 19, 2019

In marriage, there will be many occasions when we must confront our spouses about something they’ve done that we don’t like. It might be a slight concern or annoyance. It could be a larger, more serious offense. Whatever the problem, we need to be able to challenge our spouses in a healthy, healing manner. This is a skill that can be learned and practiced, and it is very important. Some of the greatest damage to marriages occurs when a couple… Read more

April 18, 2019

Have you ever been talking to your spouse only to get the impression that he or she is hearing the words you’re saying…but nothing’s really “landing”? That’s because it’s possible to hear something without really listening to it. There is a difference between hearing and listening. Hearing is a physical function of the body. It’s something God designed the ear to do. Listening is an intellectual devotion to the auditory signals the ear is picking up. We hear things all… Read more

April 16, 2019

“With praise and thanksgiving they sang to the Lord: ‘He is good; his love to Israel endures forever’” (Ezra 3:11). “I will praise God’s name in song and glorify him with thanksgiving” (Psalm 69:30). “Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name” (Psalm 100:4, NIV). Praise and thanksgiving were central to the ancient Israelites’ worship. They understood that words of affirmation and praise usher us into the presence of God…. Read more

April 15, 2019

Have you ever talked to someone who wouldn’t look you in the eye? Have you ever tried to carry on a conversation with someone who was clearly distracted? It’s frustrating. Their body language makes it clear they don’t care about you. When the uncaring person is a stranger—someone you’ve just met, like checker at the grocery store—then uncaring communication is only a minor annoyance. But what if the lack of caring comes from your spouse? That’s when it becomes painful…. Read more

April 12, 2019

One day, on television, I watched the famous comedian Jonathan Winters speak openly about his abusive childhood. He recalled how his father had beaten him severely, in addition to other forms of abuse. Then Winters said something I’ll never forget. He told the interviewer he would gladly take a physical beating over a verbal one anytime. The scars of verbal abuse he suffered from his father were much worse than the physical scars. Words can be powerful. According to the… Read more

April 11, 2019

One thing I tell Karen all the time is that there is no one in the world I’d rather be with than her. I like her and I enjoy doing things with her. Earlier in our marriage, there were times when we didn’t get along. To be honest, I looked forward to the times I could “get away” from her to pursue my own interests. Those times are gone. We have a better marriage because of it. It’s an unhealthy… Read more

April 9, 2019

A dream marriage is the kind of marriage where both the husband and wife are concerned about meeting each other’s needs. The man sacrifices to meet his wife’s need for security and meaningful communication. The wife sacrifices to meet his need for honor and respect. Both are generous toward each other. That’s foundational to a healthy, loving relationship. One of the places where this is most necessary is in the bedroom, where many marital conflicts (spoken and unspoken) tend to… Read more

April 8, 2019

A man’s greatest need is to be honored, especially by his wife. Almost any woman is willing to honor a man who succeeds and is doing well. What separates a mature wife from the rest is how she responds when her husband fails. This is the test of true honor. During a marriage, every husband is bound to do something wrong. He will fail in some capacity. If a wife cannot still honor him at those times, she may have… Read more

April 5, 2019

“The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down” (Prov. 14:1). I’ve been counseling hurting, confused wives for years, and have found emotional motivation to be a major issue in marriages. Because our brains are wired differently, women are far more attuned to emotions and feelings than men are. Normally this is an advantage. It benefits them as mothers, as friends, and even in the workplace. But sometimes the powerful pull that… Read more

April 4, 2019

No one would have dreamed Brad and Sue had marriage problems. From the outside, their relationship looked perfect. He was outgoing and handsome with a gentle, personable manner. She was fun-loving and family-oriented, faithful to God and Brad. Everyone loved being around them because they were so easy to get along with, but no one noticed their deteriorating marriage. Sue had first been attracted to Brad because of his sweet, gentle nature—but before long it began to irritate her. People… Read more

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